tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post1898297830826117673..comments2023-10-15T10:39:20.908-04:00Comments on One Frum Skeptic: The Game of Lifefrumskeptichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-34926533734917808352008-02-05T22:26:00.000-05:002008-02-05T22:26:00.000-05:00I agree with you, its hard having gone to a B"Y sc...I agree with you, its hard having gone to a B"Y school and then college, it seems strange it people's eyes and they start to ask questions. Then its a question of where you fit in because of that. <BR/>The elementary school is usually your parents decision so it has nothing to do with you choosing it. Then high school sometimes you stay in the same school cause you liked it but it doesn't necessarily define you.Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-76033613355694328412008-02-01T00:01:00.000-05:002008-02-01T00:01:00.000-05:00anyway...my point was, that while referencing with...anyway...my point was, that while referencing with the teacher, you'll be looking at character traits, which is s/t you should just leave for the date. Because if the person setting you up knows both of you, they already took the personalities into consideration. Therefore, referencing may actually harm the "shidduch" in this case, while the FBI probably has nothing on personality, unless state tests also have secret personilty tests in them (like they do with IQ).frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-90704128347222765412008-01-31T23:58:00.000-05:002008-01-31T23:58:00.000-05:00I recommend either one of these, or both of these ...I recommend either one of these, or both of these ways...<BR/><BR/>1) use a shadchan you actually knw and trust. not just someone that wants to get paid and couldnt care less if you get divorced 25 minutes later. <BR/><BR/>2) FBI check the guy. If you choose to go to a random shadchan, your references will be baised anyway. Why not go straight to the source...government files. No criminal record or mental/emotional issues on his file, you're probably in good hands. Because, look at it like this... Maybe you like guys that are opinionated and like arguing (ofcourse he may like arguing and not be opinionated, but u get my point), and when you reference him by calling a teacher you know who taught at his HS, the teacher may exaggerate the midda, to make him sound like a stupid jerk who just wants alot of attention so he talks to much...<BR/>While he's just opinionated (maybe a tad overboard on it, but something you can handle) it will seem like he's worse, adn you'd reject him, while possibly he ist he right one for you...<BR/><BR/>while I do not literally think anyone would use the FBI, I really see that as practical if you have acquintances in the legal system who are able to get this type of information.<BR/>But i just really highly qualify getting your friends//family to set you up, and you know they're trustworthy.frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-27551266856203989142008-01-29T21:43:00.000-05:002008-01-29T21:43:00.000-05:00ok... i hear what u r saying...but let me ask u......ok... i hear what u r saying...but let me ask u...what way do u prefer since u don't like the referencing way...what other ways do u have in mind...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-33615738917157614532008-01-28T23:53:00.000-05:002008-01-28T23:53:00.000-05:00anon: i totally disagree with you. It makes no di...anon: i totally disagree with you. It makes no difference, if the person setting you up is reliable, not some random rabbi who got your "resume" theres no reason you cannot trust that person. Not only that, referecning won't get you anywhere. Whats it gonna prove, the lady that HE chose to write down on his resume likes him? And if you call his neighbor (who lets assume is NOT on the resume) you may get completly useless information, what if they neighbor just has a childish grudge against the guy. Its terrible to subject yourself to gossip. If you want referencing, I recommend FBI screening him or s/t. Then atleast you know the responses you'll be getting are unbiased. and, they'd stick to important things as well...because they do not care one bit what color tablecloth he uses or if he wears loafers or shoelaces (unless he has a shoe-collecting hobby)frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-12598021351745719682008-01-28T23:49:00.000-05:002008-01-28T23:49:00.000-05:00Referencing is very important...maybe some do go a...Referencing is very important...maybe some do go a bit over board...but overall it is very important...from a girls perspective, which im sure u can relate to, knowing what kind of people the boy grew up with is important. and plus it makes life so much easier...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-27499762477169179102008-01-27T17:23:00.000-05:002008-01-27T17:23:00.000-05:00i wish i didn't agree with you and could deny that...i wish i didn't agree with you and could deny that there was such a ridiculous issue in the frum community, but... well, there is and you've written down exactly what the problem is. the shidduch crisis isn't that there are still single people that are pushing 30, but that there are opinions being formed of people based on what happens to them and not based on what kind of person they are. <BR/><BR/>"What really matters is what you like, not what you are like." - High FidelityJessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01844742305066932775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-1103117195750789682008-01-27T15:47:00.000-05:002008-01-27T15:47:00.000-05:00anon: I have nothing against being "set-up", I hav...anon: I have nothing against being "set-up", I have something against the retardedness of referencing, and parents picking schools, camps, bungalow colonies etc, specifically for shidduchim. its pathetic.frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-47078436248830775762008-01-27T15:27:00.000-05:002008-01-27T15:27:00.000-05:00are you saying that you don't agree with the whole...are you saying that you don't agree with the whole shadchin way of dating?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-83544464804569540452008-01-27T14:18:00.000-05:002008-01-27T14:18:00.000-05:00*opening*openingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-56545420981478451582008-01-27T14:17:00.000-05:002008-01-27T14:17:00.000-05:00mm, eye openeing..mm, eye openeing..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-81132742535432356672008-01-27T10:22:00.000-05:002008-01-27T10:22:00.000-05:00ה יאיר את עיניהם בטובה יאיר את עיניהם בטובהצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.com