tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post6901905785925573527..comments2023-10-15T10:39:20.908-04:00Comments on One Frum Skeptic: Promise and B'li nederfrumskeptichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-29809923086451156512008-07-10T18:56:00.000-04:002008-07-10T18:56:00.000-04:00ugh..I pressed "Publish" prematurely, the point I ...ugh..I pressed "Publish" prematurely, the point I was making was before all the complicated halakhot, and before all the "b'h"s on top of pages we should first work on just not lying, and not breaking our word.הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-71700325051358541992008-07-10T18:53:00.000-04:002008-07-10T18:53:00.000-04:00The tuth is the actual Halakhic regulations of vow...The tuth is the actual Halakhic regulations of vows and promises are many- "frum-yenta" has a pretty good synopsis going on there, though I still think it worthwhile to quote what it says in B. Talmud-Ketubot "הין צדק יהיה לך"- This means that your "yes" should be a yes, and your "no" should be a no (הין is a measure, but also yes in Mishnaic Hebrew).<BR/><BR/>...sorry, I was just in a Hebrew mood..הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-32324792860815859972008-07-10T15:05:00.000-04:002008-07-10T15:05:00.000-04:00it's just frumspeak. a culteral thingit's just frumspeak. a culteral thingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-88616099478576018492008-07-10T14:54:00.000-04:002008-07-10T14:54:00.000-04:00Can you translate into EnglishCan you translate into EnglishAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-15934915769955968202008-07-10T11:21:00.000-04:002008-07-10T11:21:00.000-04:00הגם שדיני נדרים ושבועות רבים הם אין ספור, והגם שה"...הגם שדיני נדרים ושבועות רבים הם אין ספור, והגם שה"פרום-ינטה" כתבה תמצית די-טוב על הלכות אלו בימינו, הייתי רוצה לצטט כאן את מאמר חכמינו בתלמוד המאד פשוטה: "הין צדק יהיה לך"- שיהא "הן" שלך צדק ו"לאו" שלך צדק. והלואי נקיים לפחות את זה. יהצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-2714007239741814412008-07-09T23:41:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:41:00.000-04:00How about those people that put bs"d on their site...How about those people that put bs"d on their sites and in their emails.Ookamikunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01145237927656807738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-65064462101815127042008-07-09T23:11:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:11:00.000-04:00Ahhh you're too complicated for my poor computer-d...Ahhh you're too complicated for my poor computer-drenched mind. <BR/>However, I do know that if you say bli neder before saying mincha, in that case then it is not a promise, and if you forget, it's ok. More than that, I do not know. Ask your LOR :-PShain D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13994794631558426187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-48739362830987774522008-07-09T23:05:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:05:00.000-04:00FS: I totally and completely agree with you, howev...FS: I totally and completely agree with you, however I do also have to comment on what ur friend said because I too was brought up to say this even without saying "I Promise!" There have even been times when I am in college and completely surrounded by my secular friends, when I notice that if I say to them "oh! yeah of course I will send you the notes, but I can't promise anything!" and then they say something along the lines of "I'm not asking you to promise me anything but just to send them!" Anyway I have found that now I no longer say those words, Bli neder or "I can't promise" because like I said I agree with you that in today's day in age the words "I Promise" are definitely needed to indicate a promise no matter what!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-73795332122770803252008-07-09T23:04:00.001-04:002008-07-09T23:04:00.001-04:00yente: LOL. She actually gave me the same examples...yente: LOL. She actually gave me the same examples after she read the post.<BR/><BR/>Here is the problem. What if I daven mincha for two days, and before the 3rd day I say "Bli Neder I'll daven tomorrow" does that count if something comes up and I choose not to daven mincha? And if i AM free from doing it the fourth day because I said the bli neder, when do i begin my recount for the next three days? Or does the b'li neder work forever? <BR/><BR/>I don't buy the "three times a promise" thing. Life happens. You're not gonna keep track of everything u did three days in a row to say b'li neder incase you can't the 4th,5th day. Something is either lost in translation or the BY/Yeshiva system isn't telling us something.frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-63576951762844269712008-07-09T23:04:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:04:00.000-04:00yente: LOL. She actually gave me the same examples...yente: LOL. She actually gave me the same examples after she read the post.<BR/><BR/>Here is the problem. What if I daven mincha for two days, and before the 3rd day I say "Bli Neder I'll daven tomorrow" does that count if something comes up and I choose not to daven mincha? And if i AM free from doing it the fourth day because I said the bli neder, when do i begin my recount for the next three days? Or does the b'li neder work forever? <BR/><BR/>I don't buy the "three times a promise" thing. Life happens. You're not gonna keep track of everything u did three days in a row to say b'li neder incase you can't the 4th,5th day. Something is either lost in translation or the BY/Yeshiva system isn't telling us something.frumskeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990363895869876238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-69956665555585861422008-07-09T22:58:00.001-04:002008-07-09T22:58:00.001-04:00FS: i completely understand what you mean. I hate ...FS: i completely understand what you mean. I hate it when people say Bli Neder. I remember i once asked someone to bring something in for me the next day. They ansered "sure, i promise Bli Neder". I got so frustrated. I said you either promise or you don't, i need a straight answer. The reason you ask people to promise is because you need to rely on them and feel like they'll come through for you. If someone says i promise but i dont promise what kind of assurance does that give u. And also how can you promise and yet not promise at the same time...i just don't get that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683171330083869803.post-57126393603885797692008-07-09T22:58:00.000-04:002008-07-09T22:58:00.000-04:00Ask your sis. We learned about this in school. Hal...Ask your sis. We learned about this in school. Halachicly, it's only a promise if: 1) You state out loud that you will do something good, usually for G-d. Therefore, if you tell your friend you will meet her after school, it's not considered a promise, since that's a generally neutral statement. However, if you say you will give $100 to tzedakah, that's considered a promise. 2) You do something 3 times. Again, this applies to something like davening mincha three days in a row, not eating Cheerios for breakfast three days in a row.<BR/>People usually just say B"N as a precaution, since they're not sure if it counts as a promise or not.Shain D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13994794631558426187noreply@blogger.com