With Thanksgiving a few days away I decided to write a post dedicated to the Turkey day. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who has a family member in a Jewish frummer B”Y type school; she was saying how the kids do arts n’ crafts for Mothers Day, Fathers Day & Thanksgiving even though they’re secular holidays and not everyone in the school keeps them.
This friend claimed that it causes jealousy amongst the students, because some have Mom’s & Dads who welcome the crafts, while others give a whole lecture against them. My view is that Kids will be Kids, and jealousy will come anyway. There is no reason why a teacher cannot use an excuse for arts n’crafts (it keeps the kids occupied). Also, if the teachers are smart they can turn secular holiday arts n’ crafts into a learning experience as well. Thanksgiving is a clear example. Have the kids cut out boat shapes and spell out the Mayflower on it… around Columbus day you can have them cut out similar boat shapes with Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria spelled out. Sure, Mothers and Fathers Day complicates the lecture, but if a teacher so chooses she can say “Many frum Jews don’t celebrate days specifically dedicated for Mom’s & Dad’s –and say why- but you can get great gifts, so sometimes taking advantage of the cheapness is the Jewish way too J…” Something, anything… Why is it that we have to completely screw around with such innocent holidays and allow “jealousy.”
Some kids hold by Cholov Yisroal and cannot experience the deliciousness of the Kit Kat or the Snickers bar, or DUNKIN DONUTS!!!.. how come they don’t complain about Cholov Yisroal ?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Why I dont give to Hachnosses Kallah
I received an email the other day from an engaged person. I know she isn’t the wealthiest person, but between her and her fiance’s parents they’re managing to pay for quite an expensive wedding. I was happy for her that she was marrying someone who had a little bit more money to help out. Like for example, her fiance lives a luxury building (not the type where the word luxury is used loosely).
One might think that between his and her savings and wedding present money all should be well. Right? Well apparently not. Because she still felt that she needed some financial help, so she went and had her teacher from HS fill out a form for her to receive 2 sets of dishes, 2 sets of pots/pans, 2 sets of flatwear, sheets, towels and a huge amount of coupons to help pay for furniture (honestly I don’t consider coupons a big deal, but I’m just mentioning what she’s getting), a food processor, and other small random things that should, atleast in my opinion *not* be given out for free if the kallah is having an *expensive* wedding.
Now… Someone told me that I may not know the full situation so I shouldn’t judge and get all ticked off. But I thought about that, and here is what I *do* know
- She has over $10,000 in savings
- He has over $10,000 in savings
- While $20,000 doesn’t get a newly wed couple to far (btwn appliances, furniture, *rent* (in the NYC area will not hold that amount for long), bills etc). its still quite a number especially since one is working and the other is looking for a job (oh… and wedding money soon to come…)
- The wedding is *not* being paid for by a hachnosses kallah org, and since I've been to the hall she’s being married in (when I was looking for my own wedding) I *know* the place is *not* exactly cheap, because I know the cost per plate… Like I said, I know she’s not the richest person etc… I understand that some people need help starting a marriage… but she is having an EXPENSIVE wedding. If she’s dumb enough to either spend all the money on the wedding or go into debt over the wedding, she shouldn’t be qualified for the free stuff. Infact, Since she has enough money in savings and soon in wedding money to definitely get by for a about a year, there should be no reason she’s getting help *now* anyway… SPECIFICALLY because she’s having an expensive wedding. I don’t get this… why do Jews think its their RIGHT to irresponsibly spend money and still qualify for “help”?!
One might think that between his and her savings and wedding present money all should be well. Right? Well apparently not. Because she still felt that she needed some financial help, so she went and had her teacher from HS fill out a form for her to receive 2 sets of dishes, 2 sets of pots/pans, 2 sets of flatwear, sheets, towels and a huge amount of coupons to help pay for furniture (honestly I don’t consider coupons a big deal, but I’m just mentioning what she’s getting), a food processor, and other small random things that should, atleast in my opinion *not* be given out for free if the kallah is having an *expensive* wedding.
Now… Someone told me that I may not know the full situation so I shouldn’t judge and get all ticked off. But I thought about that, and here is what I *do* know
- She has over $10,000 in savings
- He has over $10,000 in savings
- While $20,000 doesn’t get a newly wed couple to far (btwn appliances, furniture, *rent* (in the NYC area will not hold that amount for long), bills etc). its still quite a number especially since one is working and the other is looking for a job (oh… and wedding money soon to come…)
- The wedding is *not* being paid for by a hachnosses kallah org, and since I've been to the hall she’s being married in (when I was looking for my own wedding) I *know* the place is *not* exactly cheap, because I know the cost per plate… Like I said, I know she’s not the richest person etc… I understand that some people need help starting a marriage… but she is having an EXPENSIVE wedding. If she’s dumb enough to either spend all the money on the wedding or go into debt over the wedding, she shouldn’t be qualified for the free stuff. Infact, Since she has enough money in savings and soon in wedding money to definitely get by for a about a year, there should be no reason she’s getting help *now* anyway… SPECIFICALLY because she’s having an expensive wedding. I don’t get this… why do Jews think its their RIGHT to irresponsibly spend money and still qualify for “help”?!
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