SHIDDUCH book

My Sister Is In 12Th Grade. Finally, She Is Putting An End To The Main Source Of The Insanity In Her Life, And She’s Getting *Far* Away From Her Hs!! In The Meantime, While She’S Anticipating Her Last Day Of Classes, Her Idiot Principal (And Other Prinicipals As Well, As I Remember These Things Happening At My Hs) Is Checking Out EVERY Single Yearbook Picture The Girls Put In.

If the girl has her hair to long… it has to be photoshopped short.

If the girl has her hair in front, and not in the back, her hair has to be photoshopped out.

*this* is what the insanity of the frum world has come to. Yearbook pictures.

I for one, am eternally greatful I was not in my school yearbook (or rather SHIDDUCHbook)

Tfillin

True occurrence:

A super frummy, a friend and I were shmoozing when the conversation turned to Tfillin and how expensive it was.

Friend said looking at frummy "You know, a friend of mine just bought Tfillin for his Bar Mitzvah son and it cost $1200!"

Frummy said "that's nothing, My brother-in-law just paid $1800 for Tfillin for his son."

Friend and I were totally shocked, after all, we could understand a difference in $100-$200 for the tfillin, but $600 is huge... so I asked "What's so special about that Tfillin?"
She said "Well, its from a soifer with greater yiras shamayim"



Honestly, it took alot of strengh to keep from cracking up- not that friend and I were any nicer in our reaction- we both made funny looking faces which gave a clear explaination of our thoughts "WTH? HOw can you tell?"

Then, one of us (don't remember who first) said "what? How can you tell?" OUT LOUD and so frummy was like "Well, they... "

I couldn't fully understand what she said, but it was pretty obvious that the laymans terms version of it woulda been something like this "they have better handwriting"...

I was like "FOR REAL?!"

Why are people so frikkin stupid? I mean, I understand paying more money for BETTER QUALITY stuff, but lets face it, the writing will fade no matter who wrote up the tfillin. Eventually the Tfillin is going to need to be checked, so unless you fly the Tfillin back to Israel (where else would someone with greater Yiras Shamayim live?), it aint gonna be any different.

Then these bozo's complain about how expensive it is to be frum.

non-Jew coworker on Jewish men

One non-Jewish lady at my office said to me "You know, back in the former Soviet Union, all of us wanted to marry Jewish guys. They were known to be the best. They worked, they didn't drink and they didn't have girlfriends... And if they did, their wife and child always came first if anything major happened."

I thought that was an amazing thing she said, and then I responded "they don't really work so much anymore."
She was like "WHAT!?"
I said "yea, its not in style for them to work, they don't work, they sit in yeshiva and learn all day, and get married, and continue to sit in yeshiva and learn all day"

She said "they can do that, but no one will want to marry them!"
I said "yea, umm... its in style for girls to want a guy like that and for her dad to provide for them"

To which my coworker responded "They're not Jewish then. Jewish men are actually hardworking." (She would know, she married a Jew)

I thought to myself "its a sad world when the non-Jew recognizes the insanity of our current culture."

On wearing a Hat

The following qoute describes perfectly how I feel about hats:

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. P. J. O'Rourke

Haknosses Kallah and why I'm against Obamacare

By A guest post:

Chaknosot Kalah & why I am against ObamaCare

It must have started all innocently. A young couple wanted to get married, found an apartment, bought a couple of mattresses and borrowed a few pots and pans and dishes from friends and relatives. The wedding date was set and they were awaiting it anxiously. Their friends wanted to do something special for the newlyweds. They collected a few dollars here and there and bride and a groom had a cake, wine, sodas and challah.

At least that's how I see Chaknoset Kalah started out. Now in the name of every kalah (bride) deserves a beautiful wedding, various Chaknoset Kalah organizations throw huge weddings with food for the guests and gown for the bride. They buy for the newlyweds two twin beds with brand new linen and towels and pots and pans and dishes and even a washing machine. That's right, all one has to do is declare herself to be a poor bride and these organizations will not think twice about setting up their household. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's a private charity organization and if people want to donate their money to support two teens getting married without a job, education or any other conceivable way to support themselves besides living off the charity, it's their business. Who am I to judge them. Heck, when a poor friend got married we wrote a nice check to him, but at the same time when I get a phone call about Tova needing money because she is getting married and only wants to work part time as a kindergarten teacher's helper and her groom is not planning to work, ever if he can help it, I politely tell the caller that I do not support their cause. Yes, every bride deserves a perfect wedding, but I don't think it is necessary to provide a perfect wedding for every bride.

I do not believe in this charity and I don't support them. There are other charitable organizations that I do not support such as peta or global warming or various organizations that are of other religions'. No one is forcing me to donate to them and everyone is happy with the establishment.

Now we are talking about Obamacare. This is an all encompassing healthcare which takes my money to provide care to each and every American as they need it. Sounds fine, just like the original Chaknasot Kala organization, but then we have to look into what they are providing. They are saying that everyone deserves it. I remember about 20 years ago, government saw no problem with providing mattresses to patients on Medicaid as long as a doctor decided that the said patient needed one. (I'm not sure if this is still so today.) So, my hardworking money was stolen from me via taxation me to give brand new beds to poor people, while I had to scrape and save to get a new bed for myself. Had Medicaid been a charitable organization and I would have gotten a phone call from one of the organizations collecting money for new beds for poor people I would have been able to decided whether or not it's a worthwhile charity and donated or not according to that decision. But the government made that decision for me. Imagine if part of the ObamaCare was about Chaknasot Kalah. After all, every bride deserves a beautiful wedding, so why shouldn't it be part of our healthcare and let's make every hardworking American pay for that wedding.

Thomas Jefferson

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretence of taking care of them.

-Thomas Jefferson

for real now...

A few individual frum Jews are trying to argue that the new law (Obamacare) should be seen as a good thing by us. Why?

Well they say that since Jews are charitable people (and that, we are) we should view this as a step towards the greater good... blah blah.

well, here goes...

1- I *chose* to be frum. and choose to abide by the rules everyday (why, I'm not always sure).
2- How much I give to charity, is my business... and my husbands business (afterall, we are a team)
3- no one actually knows how much maaser I give, or dont give... or who I give to, or what my principles are behind who I choose to give etc... UNLESS I TELL THEM.
4- THere is *no* way anyone will ever know how much i give, because
a) my income is confidential
b) even if for whatever reason my income became public knowledge (worked for the govt), who I gave charity to, and how much, would remain confidential, and therefore, *no* one would know who i give too, or how much I give etc...

5-
*IF* a Rabbi were to suggest a charity, i would *not* have to give to it if I chose not to.
*IF* I chose *not* to give to the suggested charity, the Rabbi wouldn't hunt me down, and Gd wouldn't strike me with lightening and kill me as a form of punishment. Contrary to psycho frummy popular belief "midda kneged midda" is not so simple... So if I weren't giving maaser, the likelihood of a major tragedy occurring that otherwise wouldnt occur is slim.

Now-
Health care passes, and the government decides to "help" people ( I'm not even getting into the fact that all gold the government touches turns to sand).

- I *have* to give charity
- I have *no* choice who to give to, because the government chooses for me
-The government also chooses the amount, because it *knows* my income. I cannot hide it, unless I cheat (work off the books).
- If I cheat, I get fined, and then probably imprisonment if I cheated a lot.
- If I dont give at all get prison.

So umm... democraps (yes, thats what you are), while the healthcare system may be failing. I (and the VAST majority of the public) dont particular care for this bill... even if some of us happen to be part of a charitable nation.

Get it?

If not, well then... lets talk money...
WE HAVE NO FRIKKIN MONEY! THE COUNTRY IS BANKRUPT!
this healthcare bill is as effective in saving people, as it is attempting to save a drowning person by pouring more water on their head.