I thought I pretty much dealt with a life time's worth of stupid these past few weeks, but apparently, Gd is trying to push the limit of my endurance.
I came home VERY late (12:40 am) to be exact. My mom happened to be up and so she told me all about my sister's teacher, who in my book, should be fired for all the stupid she managed to spew within the 4 months that passed of this school year (see: These People Should Not Teach )
Ok, so, I'll be honest I haven't been updating myself much with wacko frum things (I've been busy lately). Well, so anyway, it seems (again I did not look this up) as if some Rosh Yeshiva or some "Gadol" (is there a difference?) has decided recently to speak out against texting.
My sister's teacher was relaying the message to the girls, and one of the girls asked "What is so wrong with texting?" and the teacher said "It can lead to talking to boys..." (I'm not even going to delve into the fact that you cannot just randomly text a boy, you have to know him *already* to do that).
Now...wtf...really...wtf (wth is just not enough)...wanna guess what the rest of the "..." led to?
NO...don't try...you won't get it...its out of this world!
The teacher said that "...and one should commit suicide rather than doing that"
hmm...so lets see... Lets go back into my past...
I woulda been dead the day of my 12th birthday! Heck, I probably wouldn't have ever been conceived...nor Cain and Abel...
WTF!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tznius monitors
I was randomly wandering around different Tshirt sites, and I decided that this Tshirt would be the best tshirt for Tznius monitors to wear!!
How amazing would it be if B"Y and Saudi police modesty patrol (or the equivalent) would be wearing that sort of Tshirt as their uniform!
The only thing that needs to change is the color. Red is taboo.
How amazing would it be if B"Y and Saudi police modesty patrol (or the equivalent) would be wearing that sort of Tshirt as their uniform!
The only thing that needs to change is the color. Red is taboo.
Meme!
So I figured I'll do what Babysitter did by combining two meme's into one.
Book Meme
Here are the rules: Grab the nearest book. Open the book to page 56. Find the fifth sentence. Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal/blog along with these instructions. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Tag five other people to do the same.
You hadn't had much food, because you saved money to finish your drawing, but still you had to cook something and you hadn't paid for it....All right, that's nothing, you can laugh at that. But finally you'll get into a man's office with your drawing, and you'll curse yourself for taking so much space of his air with your body, and you'll try to squeeze yourself out of his site, so that he won't see you, so that he won't hear your voice begging him, pleading, your voice licking his knees; you'll loathe yourself for it, but you won't care, if only he'd let you put up that building, you won't care, you'll want to rip your insides open to show him, because if he saw what's there, he'd have to let you put it up.
This came from "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. I cannot explain what the qoute is about, because I haven't read the book yet. My mom is almost finished with it. When she is done, only then will I actually begin to read it. Though I can imagine it has something to do with capitalism. lol. And the guy being an architect.
Sevent Facts About Me, Meme
I was tagged by both The Babysitter and Material Maidel for this one.
Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.
[1] I cannot go to bed without taking a shower first. Meaning, I must have wet hair when I go to sleep. If I have a high fever, I still shower. If for whatever reason I fall asleep without a shower (and this rarely ever happens, like once in 5 years). I change my bed sheets, or else I wouldn't be able to fall asleep the next night. Shabbos is an exception. But if I spend shabbos at home (and I usually do), I usually have my hair in a bun so that it doesn't dry by bed time.
[2] I am obsessed with the game Sims. I just love that game. I mastered it already. I have so much fun playing Gd. I can play hours on end.
[3] When I was a toddler I refused to eat anything that was red. This includes strawberries, cherries, tomatoes, watermelon, even red candy. Maybe it was the fear of communism my parents instilled in me, as they were refugees from the USSR. My mom thinks the reason I got over it, was because I was once at a party, and all the little kids were eating pizza, and I must of realized it wasn't that bad. The only exclusively red thing I don't like now are tomatoes.
[4] I have low cholestoral and low blood pressure. If I get worked up, its a good thing. Stupid people are actually good for my health, just bad for my IQ development. :). About a month ago, a doctor actually encouraged me to eat MORE red meat. :)
[5] My favorite holiday is pesach. All the cleaning may be a complete pain in the tush, but once the holiday begins, and the house is clean, and one can relax, the feeling of relief is just priceless.
[6] I think being "cultured" is a waste of time. Why is wasting time learning about artists important? Or what about music? I'm greatful that Gd created such talented people, but to value those who "study" this stuff, but have no talent themselves, is just a crock...atleast in my opinion.
[7] I hate writing facts about myself. I'm a pretty upfront person. It's not like the stuff I wrote about were a secret I woulda never written a blog post about in the future had I needed a topic!
****
And I'm not tagging anyone, because when I went around to see who was tagged, pretty much everyone was. So ...enjoy!
Book Meme
Here are the rules: Grab the nearest book. Open the book to page 56. Find the fifth sentence. Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal/blog along with these instructions. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Tag five other people to do the same.
You hadn't had much food, because you saved money to finish your drawing, but still you had to cook something and you hadn't paid for it....All right, that's nothing, you can laugh at that. But finally you'll get into a man's office with your drawing, and you'll curse yourself for taking so much space of his air with your body, and you'll try to squeeze yourself out of his site, so that he won't see you, so that he won't hear your voice begging him, pleading, your voice licking his knees; you'll loathe yourself for it, but you won't care, if only he'd let you put up that building, you won't care, you'll want to rip your insides open to show him, because if he saw what's there, he'd have to let you put it up.
This came from "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. I cannot explain what the qoute is about, because I haven't read the book yet. My mom is almost finished with it. When she is done, only then will I actually begin to read it. Though I can imagine it has something to do with capitalism. lol. And the guy being an architect.
Sevent Facts About Me, Meme
I was tagged by both The Babysitter and Material Maidel for this one.
Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.
[1] I cannot go to bed without taking a shower first. Meaning, I must have wet hair when I go to sleep. If I have a high fever, I still shower. If for whatever reason I fall asleep without a shower (and this rarely ever happens, like once in 5 years). I change my bed sheets, or else I wouldn't be able to fall asleep the next night. Shabbos is an exception. But if I spend shabbos at home (and I usually do), I usually have my hair in a bun so that it doesn't dry by bed time.
[2] I am obsessed with the game Sims. I just love that game. I mastered it already. I have so much fun playing Gd. I can play hours on end.
[3] When I was a toddler I refused to eat anything that was red. This includes strawberries, cherries, tomatoes, watermelon, even red candy. Maybe it was the fear of communism my parents instilled in me, as they were refugees from the USSR. My mom thinks the reason I got over it, was because I was once at a party, and all the little kids were eating pizza, and I must of realized it wasn't that bad. The only exclusively red thing I don't like now are tomatoes.
[4] I have low cholestoral and low blood pressure. If I get worked up, its a good thing. Stupid people are actually good for my health, just bad for my IQ development. :). About a month ago, a doctor actually encouraged me to eat MORE red meat. :)
[5] My favorite holiday is pesach. All the cleaning may be a complete pain in the tush, but once the holiday begins, and the house is clean, and one can relax, the feeling of relief is just priceless.
[6] I think being "cultured" is a waste of time. Why is wasting time learning about artists important? Or what about music? I'm greatful that Gd created such talented people, but to value those who "study" this stuff, but have no talent themselves, is just a crock...atleast in my opinion.
[7] I hate writing facts about myself. I'm a pretty upfront person. It's not like the stuff I wrote about were a secret I woulda never written a blog post about in the future had I needed a topic!
****
And I'm not tagging anyone, because when I went around to see who was tagged, pretty much everyone was. So ...enjoy!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
In Honor of Christmas
I sit next to my manager at work, so I hear just about everything that goes on in the office. I actually learned to tune everyone out, so I don't listen to as much as I could (a lot is really boring), but when I do tune in, its because I know the convo will be of interest.
A few days ago a non-frum lady (Jewish, a mother of two young kids) came over to my manager and told her a story about how her 4 year old wants to celebrate Christmas. So the lady tells her son "We don't celebrate Christmas"
Her son went crazy and said "what do you mean?!"
She said "Don't worry, we still get all the presents"
He said "Will Santa Clause bring them to me?"
She said "Yes he will."
So this conversation really ticked me off. I generally don't understand why parents would lie to their kids about things like Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and to lie about a character that doesn't even exist within the realm of your own traditions? What's the point?
This lady should've said to her kid "chanukah is just so much cooler than Christmas! We get to light pretty candles, eat Donuts, get EIGHT days to celebrate. Christmas is just ONE day! Why would you want only a ONE day holiday?"
Why lie about santa? I feel as if the parents lose credibility in their children's eyes. Its like when you hit a certain age, and realize all those characters don't exist, and your parents knowingly told you they did, you'll begin to question everything they ever told you. You'll begin to doubt their promises. That is insane. Why go there?
A few days ago a non-frum lady (Jewish, a mother of two young kids) came over to my manager and told her a story about how her 4 year old wants to celebrate Christmas. So the lady tells her son "We don't celebrate Christmas"
Her son went crazy and said "what do you mean?!"
She said "Don't worry, we still get all the presents"
He said "Will Santa Clause bring them to me?"
She said "Yes he will."
So this conversation really ticked me off. I generally don't understand why parents would lie to their kids about things like Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and to lie about a character that doesn't even exist within the realm of your own traditions? What's the point?
This lady should've said to her kid "chanukah is just so much cooler than Christmas! We get to light pretty candles, eat Donuts, get EIGHT days to celebrate. Christmas is just ONE day! Why would you want only a ONE day holiday?"
Why lie about santa? I feel as if the parents lose credibility in their children's eyes. Its like when you hit a certain age, and realize all those characters don't exist, and your parents knowingly told you they did, you'll begin to question everything they ever told you. You'll begin to doubt their promises. That is insane. Why go there?
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Santa <3 Baby?!
I was speaking to a Rabbi I know about Christmas. We got into a whole long discussion, which went on a tangent, and we began to discuss the bad priests, and what a chillul hashem some Rabbi's are (specifically the recent Satmar story). Then he said in an attempt to get back to our original discussion (something about Christmas), he said "You know, Santa is a pedophile, he has little kids sit on his lap all day!"
I started laughing. :-)
Oh boy did I have to share that with my readers. :)
Generally, the Rabbi kept on saying how we are not supposed to learn Torah over Christmas because that gives merit to Jesus (well, he said Yoshka). And I got all annoyed at him. After all, depends on who you hold by, depends on when Christmas is. In the former Soviet Union, the Russian Orthodox held Christmas on January 7 I believe, while only Catholics and pretty much the various Protestant Christians keep it the 25th. Does that mean we cannot learn Torah all those days? What bothered me most, and I made this point to him, that by not learning, it doesn't withhold merit, it actually just adds to the meaning behind his existence. By not learning on Christmas (whichever in your minhag...hehe), you're only affirming Jesus' existence.
Why the hell would Rebbeim go out of their way enough to give a darn when he was born? Well... I unfortunately don't even have a theory on that one.
I started laughing. :-)
Oh boy did I have to share that with my readers. :)
Generally, the Rabbi kept on saying how we are not supposed to learn Torah over Christmas because that gives merit to Jesus (well, he said Yoshka). And I got all annoyed at him. After all, depends on who you hold by, depends on when Christmas is. In the former Soviet Union, the Russian Orthodox held Christmas on January 7 I believe, while only Catholics and pretty much the various Protestant Christians keep it the 25th. Does that mean we cannot learn Torah all those days? What bothered me most, and I made this point to him, that by not learning, it doesn't withhold merit, it actually just adds to the meaning behind his existence. By not learning on Christmas (whichever in your minhag...hehe), you're only affirming Jesus' existence.
Why the hell would Rebbeim go out of their way enough to give a darn when he was born? Well... I unfortunately don't even have a theory on that one.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I'd be embarrased!
I [unfortunately] speak to alot of people. Some of the dumb things that come out of people's mouths are just outright embarrassing for normal people to be caught saying- never mind, doing! This post is a pretty much a compilation of stupid people stories.
Just stupid:
1- My sister came home the other day fuming about her messed up classmate. Her classmate said "You don't need to know history to be a historian." I asked my sister if the girl was high or something. My sister answered "NO! She's always like this, this is the girl who didn't know who Einstein was in10th grade, after taking a global history course, and then was proud of her ignorance on 'goyish' subjects!"
Patterson- Don't tax non-diet soda, tax new benches!:
2- There is this one lady who wanted to buy new benches. Each bench was like $1000 so all the people involved in the community didn't want to purchase the new benches unless it was an absolute necessity. Her reason for buying the new benches- Because she couldn't slide down on them! She literally had to pick up her butt and move! Oh NO!
Why NYers should shower every day!:
3- This one guy my father knows was bragging about how he always had a seat on a crowded train. What would he do? He would pick his nose, and then wipe a huge booger on one of the windows over a seat. People would [naturally] be grossed out by it, and would abandon their seats. And he would be able to get a seat! - I promise that was true!-
Sterilization should be FORCED!
4- This one lady who my parents used to be close to, was 8 months pregnant. She was out one day, walking on icy streets. She decided she didn't want to get her feet wet, so she JUMPED over a puddle!
5- lady from # 4 was cursing out her husband in the car once. My father said to her "You know, they say babies hear everything in the womb." The lady goes "YES, GOOD. The kid should know what her father is, a $*%($&#(@)!)."
Solution to bad education! Invest into hearing aids!
6- My mom bumped into an old classmate on the train. The conversation turned into one about their HS. The lady kept on saying how terrible the education at the HS was, and how it took her 6 years to graduate Brooklyn College (and then the reputation wasn't as "good" as it is now). My mother said "What are you talking about? I received a scholarship to Columbia and NYU. I was fine at the Columbia summer program, and the time I spent in NYU I was doing very well." The lady goes "YEA! But YOU were listening [in class]!"
***
WTH is wrong with people? How are people not embarrassed to say things like this. If Governor Patterson were to tax the Stupid, NY's budget would be in a surplus!
Just stupid:
1- My sister came home the other day fuming about her messed up classmate. Her classmate said "You don't need to know history to be a historian." I asked my sister if the girl was high or something. My sister answered "NO! She's always like this, this is the girl who didn't know who Einstein was in10th grade, after taking a global history course, and then was proud of her ignorance on 'goyish' subjects!"
Patterson- Don't tax non-diet soda, tax new benches!:
2- There is this one lady who wanted to buy new benches. Each bench was like $1000 so all the people involved in the community didn't want to purchase the new benches unless it was an absolute necessity. Her reason for buying the new benches- Because she couldn't slide down on them! She literally had to pick up her butt and move! Oh NO!
Why NYers should shower every day!:
3- This one guy my father knows was bragging about how he always had a seat on a crowded train. What would he do? He would pick his nose, and then wipe a huge booger on one of the windows over a seat. People would [naturally] be grossed out by it, and would abandon their seats. And he would be able to get a seat! - I promise that was true!-
Sterilization should be FORCED!
4- This one lady who my parents used to be close to, was 8 months pregnant. She was out one day, walking on icy streets. She decided she didn't want to get her feet wet, so she JUMPED over a puddle!
5- lady from # 4 was cursing out her husband in the car once. My father said to her "You know, they say babies hear everything in the womb." The lady goes "YES, GOOD. The kid should know what her father is, a $*%($&#(@)!)."
Solution to bad education! Invest into hearing aids!
6- My mom bumped into an old classmate on the train. The conversation turned into one about their HS. The lady kept on saying how terrible the education at the HS was, and how it took her 6 years to graduate Brooklyn College (and then the reputation wasn't as "good" as it is now). My mother said "What are you talking about? I received a scholarship to Columbia and NYU. I was fine at the Columbia summer program, and the time I spent in NYU I was doing very well." The lady goes "YEA! But YOU were listening [in class]!"
***
WTH is wrong with people? How are people not embarrassed to say things like this. If Governor Patterson were to tax the Stupid, NY's budget would be in a surplus!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
TV
I received a few comments about my last post on Jewish/Kosher TV, and so I would like to update you on the changes.
1- A fellow blogger has informed me that my idea of a Kosher TV doesn't really have anything that would interest men. To that I responded "DTV would be great for men, and plus men should be learning, not watching TV"
I don't think he was quite satisfied with that answer, but I think mikeinmidwood has found a way to make Shidduch Central fun for Jews of both genders.
2- I was informed that Devora the Explorer should really be "Morah Devora the Explorer."
I'm not quite sure why the person felt that way, but I think it is because a single non-Morah randomly exploring would be bad for finding a shidduch. It is untznius for a non-Morah to randomly go browse the world.
3- Dina has also suggested that we need some sort of crime show, like serial denim wearers or something of the sort. And so, I realised that would be an awesome idea, because men would be interested! So my thought is, is we video tape what goes on in COED and/or MODERN orthodox single-gender schools...you know...slit wearing, and denim wearing while learning gemara!
You know...something of the sort!
:)
1- A fellow blogger has informed me that my idea of a Kosher TV doesn't really have anything that would interest men. To that I responded "DTV would be great for men, and plus men should be learning, not watching TV"
I don't think he was quite satisfied with that answer, but I think mikeinmidwood has found a way to make Shidduch Central fun for Jews of both genders.
2- I was informed that Devora the Explorer should really be "Morah Devora the Explorer."
I'm not quite sure why the person felt that way, but I think it is because a single non-Morah randomly exploring would be bad for finding a shidduch. It is untznius for a non-Morah to randomly go browse the world.
3- Dina has also suggested that we need some sort of crime show, like serial denim wearers or something of the sort. And so, I realised that would be an awesome idea, because men would be interested! So my thought is, is we video tape what goes on in COED and/or MODERN orthodox single-gender schools...you know...slit wearing, and denim wearing while learning gemara!
You know...something of the sort!
:)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Jewish/Kosher TV
The other day it had occurred to me that the frum community banned the Internet and the cell phone and then realized how utterly messed up they were, so they invented the "Kosher" phone and the Internet filter so that people can still use the technology but in a halachically acceptable way (yet they still deny the necessity of using either!). My father has led me to realize that nothing has yet been created/invented to make the television acceptable. I began to imagine what the acceptable TV would be like.
Firstly, the Jewish TV would be an ordinary "video machine" (calling it a TV would be simply unacceptable) with a premium cable package. This package would literally filter out EVERY single basic cable channel, but will also be the only package that would include Jew channels.
The first station will be Davening TeleVision. DTV will be the all-around 24-hour prayer channel. The station will air people davening and have Rebbeim discuss shuckling methods and different ways to improve on your kavanah. They'll also have "specials" air during prime-time comparing/contrasting the different ways Jews daven (Sephard, Ashkenaz etc). Before each yom tov they'll provide a special on the different meanings behind each "yom tov" bracha that is added. Every Rosh Chodesh, the station will air different songs by featured "hit" frummy artists to help add to the joy of the day.
"Prepare for your date in less than 30 minutes" This show will provide girls with tips on which shampoos and mouse products are the best for blowing/ironing hair. The show will talk about how accessorizing the black "first-date outfit" (black turtle-neck with a black skirt) is essential in getting a second date. The show will also remind it's viewers that it is key to remember to focus on the type of shoes the guy is wearing instead of focusing on secondary things, like his personality, chemistry, and attraction.
Another show on Shidduch Central would be, "How to act on your first date" This show will be a guide for all the guys/girls who unfortunately didn't get engaged to the first person they ever dated. The show will remind them to sit with a straight back and to never ask questions about anything of importance. It will remind the girls that they are required to order either a diet soda or a water because if they order anything containing calories, their date may think they don't take care of themselves.
Another show would be: "The Rabbi's advice" This will be aired a few times a week for 3 hours straight. It will be live and will be hosted by a different rabbi each time (repeats allowed, but not consecutively). The point of the show will be to answer questions of those in shidduchim LIVE! The callers will remain anonymous. If a question is really good, the Rav may decide to give an entire shuir on the topic instead of answering more phone calls.
The other show would be "The Shadchan says..." and it will be a production which would feature a shadchan deciding which people to set up. It will be similar to a reality TV program providing viewers with full view on how the shadchan browses through resumes and how she scrutinizes parents and harasses singles.
Another Station will be "Television's Tznius Network". TTN will air shows solely for women (The TV will have a male detector, and will NOT allow the channel to be viewed in the presence of any).
TTN will air shows like "Tamara Berg Show." Tamara will give make-overs to BT women to help them learn to dress tzniously. She will also interview women who had gone through tragedies (been beat or had acid poured on by radical Charedi men). She will also interview families with OTD members in it (with the faces blurred or shidduchim will be effected). Tamara will organize tehillim groups to help put those family members back on the derech. She will have "T" magazine and also be a model for "Tzipporah's Secret" catalogs of all tznius clothing.
Television's Tznuis Network will also air "Tzipporah's Secret" fashion shows...and will air "Sheitle Keeper's" a guide on how to care for your sheitle.
A show "How to look good Tznius" will have a host which will stop random girls from public schools who are dressed "half-naked." They will then give these girls fully tznius makeovers, and then post their pictures in shidduch magazines around the world. When the girls realize that guys DO want to go out with them, even with clothes on, they'll come to a realization that covered can be attractive.
Being that DTV, Shidduch Central and TTN will not interest children, the Kosher TV will have to provide entertainment for the young. The station for Jewish kids will be called "Yiddishe Kinderlach Broadcasting". YKB will be a station specifically geared to occupy the young innocent minds of the klal.
YKB will provide shows such as "Yossi's Street" where there will be characters like the Kugel Monster who lives in a shul's shtender. He comes out when there is a kiddush and tries to sneak all the kugel back into his shtender.
Another hit show will be "Devora the Explorer" Devora will randomly wander around areas and randomly say things in Hebrew. She will have a little brother Shmuley (she can't have a pet, come on, we're being Jewish!!) who will wander around with her everywhere. She will also have a knapsack that contains all Jewish essentials (ie chicken soup, gefilte fish, money, and a phone with speed dial to Imma). These essentials will help her in her random wanders, because she'll have who to call, what to eat (if she gets sick) and what to share if she meets a friend. She'll also be able to buy something if she wanders into a sale!
Yiddishe Kinderlach Broadcasting will not only air such great shows, but will also air Uncle Moishy concerts.
The final station will be called Tzedakah Home Network, which will air Chinese auction catalogs, and other random events one may attend. If there is a fund-raising dinner, the TV station will spend a few hours showing pictures of the hall it will be held at, as well as pictures of the food the caterer will provide.
***
The Kosher TV will also come with another feature, and that will be "shabbos mode"
The TV will automatically shut off 30 minutes before shabbos and yom tov and will not turn back on until 2 hours after shabbos/yom tov is over.
Firstly, the Jewish TV would be an ordinary "video machine" (calling it a TV would be simply unacceptable) with a premium cable package. This package would literally filter out EVERY single basic cable channel, but will also be the only package that would include Jew channels.
The first station will be Davening TeleVision. DTV will be the all-around 24-hour prayer channel. The station will air people davening and have Rebbeim discuss shuckling methods and different ways to improve on your kavanah. They'll also have "specials" air during prime-time comparing/contrasting the different ways Jews daven (Sephard, Ashkenaz etc). Before each yom tov they'll provide a special on the different meanings behind each "yom tov" bracha that is added. Every Rosh Chodesh, the station will air different songs by featured "hit" frummy artists to help add to the joy of the day.
With the creation of this station, the Rebbeim will discuss if one can use the televised LIVE davening for minyan.
The next station will be called Shidduch Central. This channel will air shows like:"Prepare for your date in less than 30 minutes" This show will provide girls with tips on which shampoos and mouse products are the best for blowing/ironing hair. The show will talk about how accessorizing the black "first-date outfit" (black turtle-neck with a black skirt) is essential in getting a second date. The show will also remind it's viewers that it is key to remember to focus on the type of shoes the guy is wearing instead of focusing on secondary things, like his personality, chemistry, and attraction.
Another show on Shidduch Central would be, "How to act on your first date" This show will be a guide for all the guys/girls who unfortunately didn't get engaged to the first person they ever dated. The show will remind them to sit with a straight back and to never ask questions about anything of importance. It will remind the girls that they are required to order either a diet soda or a water because if they order anything containing calories, their date may think they don't take care of themselves.
Another show would be: "The Rabbi's advice" This will be aired a few times a week for 3 hours straight. It will be live and will be hosted by a different rabbi each time (repeats allowed, but not consecutively). The point of the show will be to answer questions of those in shidduchim LIVE! The callers will remain anonymous. If a question is really good, the Rav may decide to give an entire shuir on the topic instead of answering more phone calls.
The other show would be "The Shadchan says..." and it will be a production which would feature a shadchan deciding which people to set up. It will be similar to a reality TV program providing viewers with full view on how the shadchan browses through resumes and how she scrutinizes parents and harasses singles.
Another Station will be "Television's Tznius Network". TTN will air shows solely for women (The TV will have a male detector, and will NOT allow the channel to be viewed in the presence of any).
TTN will air shows like "Tamara Berg Show." Tamara will give make-overs to BT women to help them learn to dress tzniously. She will also interview women who had gone through tragedies (been beat or had acid poured on by radical Charedi men). She will also interview families with OTD members in it (with the faces blurred or shidduchim will be effected). Tamara will organize tehillim groups to help put those family members back on the derech. She will have "T" magazine and also be a model for "Tzipporah's Secret" catalogs of all tznius clothing.
Television's Tznuis Network will also air "Tzipporah's Secret" fashion shows...and will air "Sheitle Keeper's" a guide on how to care for your sheitle.
A show "How to look good Tznius" will have a host which will stop random girls from public schools who are dressed "half-naked." They will then give these girls fully tznius makeovers, and then post their pictures in shidduch magazines around the world. When the girls realize that guys DO want to go out with them, even with clothes on, they'll come to a realization that covered can be attractive.
Being that DTV, Shidduch Central and TTN will not interest children, the Kosher TV will have to provide entertainment for the young. The station for Jewish kids will be called "Yiddishe Kinderlach Broadcasting". YKB will be a station specifically geared to occupy the young innocent minds of the klal.
YKB will provide shows such as "Yossi's Street" where there will be characters like the Kugel Monster who lives in a shul's shtender. He comes out when there is a kiddush and tries to sneak all the kugel back into his shtender.
Another hit show will be "Devora the Explorer" Devora will randomly wander around areas and randomly say things in Hebrew. She will have a little brother Shmuley (she can't have a pet, come on, we're being Jewish!!) who will wander around with her everywhere. She will also have a knapsack that contains all Jewish essentials (ie chicken soup, gefilte fish, money, and a phone with speed dial to Imma). These essentials will help her in her random wanders, because she'll have who to call, what to eat (if she gets sick) and what to share if she meets a friend. She'll also be able to buy something if she wanders into a sale!
Yiddishe Kinderlach Broadcasting will not only air such great shows, but will also air Uncle Moishy concerts.
The final station will be called Tzedakah Home Network, which will air Chinese auction catalogs, and other random events one may attend. If there is a fund-raising dinner, the TV station will spend a few hours showing pictures of the hall it will be held at, as well as pictures of the food the caterer will provide.
***
The Kosher TV will also come with another feature, and that will be "shabbos mode"
The TV will automatically shut off 30 minutes before shabbos and yom tov and will not turn back on until 2 hours after shabbos/yom tov is over.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Very good
Mikeinmidwood's post "If they had a blog" is VERY good.
Very creative. :)
I highly recommend checking it out!!!
Very creative. :)
I highly recommend checking it out!!!
new blog
I'm randomly browsing around on different links on my site, and I found that I was linked on a new blog "Harry-er than them all"
:)
This totally put me into a good mood. :)
I also highly recommend reading the blog. Rather interesting :)
:)
This totally put me into a good mood. :)
I also highly recommend reading the blog. Rather interesting :)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Black Hats
One of the most annoying things about Orthodox Jewry is the fact that it is common that the men wear Black Hats. The Black Hat is considered by many a statement of Orthodoxy. To them the hat is like THE ultimate in Jewish clothing. To many the concept of perpetually replicating an Oreo cookie by way of dress is somehow holy. Supposedly, the story goes, the black and white with the Abe Lincoln look-a-like hat, is "Jewish."
Aside from the fact that the hat is ridiculously unattractive on most people, the hat is not at all Jewish. The hat was a customary article of clothing in many Eastern and Western European countries. Meaning, the Jew were NOT the only ones who wore hats. ALL the people wore them. Some people left the mid-ages behind, and the hat just represents that Jews are backwards.
Regardless...the biggest pet-peeve of all is when a sephardi guy wears a black hat. At least Ashkenazie Jews have an excuse as to why they're stupid (it was part of goyish culture), but many of the Sephardim of middle-eastern and Asian background have absolutely NO trace whatsoever of black-hat wearing in their past.
A few of my Sephardi friends hate the fact that on dates, guys wear hats. They hate it. It absolutely bothers them that this new wave of yeshiva returners come back "frummer" than their fathers by turning Ashkenazie.
Whatever...I think ALL men should abstain from wearing such atrocities on their heads. They're ugly and expensive and impractical. If you really want to wear "Jewish" clothing, put on a pair of knickers and turban, and sandals, and viola. Until then SHUT UP, its NOT Jewish clothing you damned GOY!
Aside from the fact that the hat is ridiculously unattractive on most people, the hat is not at all Jewish. The hat was a customary article of clothing in many Eastern and Western European countries. Meaning, the Jew were NOT the only ones who wore hats. ALL the people wore them. Some people left the mid-ages behind, and the hat just represents that Jews are backwards.
Regardless...the biggest pet-peeve of all is when a sephardi guy wears a black hat. At least Ashkenazie Jews have an excuse as to why they're stupid (it was part of goyish culture), but many of the Sephardim of middle-eastern and Asian background have absolutely NO trace whatsoever of black-hat wearing in their past.
A few of my Sephardi friends hate the fact that on dates, guys wear hats. They hate it. It absolutely bothers them that this new wave of yeshiva returners come back "frummer" than their fathers by turning Ashkenazie.
Whatever...I think ALL men should abstain from wearing such atrocities on their heads. They're ugly and expensive and impractical. If you really want to wear "Jewish" clothing, put on a pair of knickers and turban, and sandals, and viola. Until then SHUT UP, its NOT Jewish clothing you damned GOY!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Gift Cards
While I was checking my email earlier today, I received something from bankrate.com. One of the articles linked in that email was called 12 recession-proof holiday gifts. The article listed 12 categories discussing gift ideas and two of them were food and health.
Under the food category the article said the following:
Many Americans' diets have suffered as the price of good, fresh food has risen, both in restaurants and on the grocery-store shelves. For those who've cut back on dining out, a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant may be in order. Gift cards for restaurants are projected to be the top type of gift card this holiday season, according to a survey by the Archstone Consulting. For foodies and cooks on your list, a grocery-store gift card or a rockin' recipe book may be just the right holiday treat.
Under the health category the article said:
With health care costs perpetually rising, good health is more valuable than ever. A gentle push in the form of a three-month, all-expense-paid membership to a gym or a nice pair of athletic shoes may be just the thing to part that special couch potato from his or her couch. For those on your list who have little workout experience, a session with a personal trainer will help them learn the exercises and establish a regimen that will work for them.
The overall point of the article, as both these categories show, is that giving practical gifts is smarter during a recession. Which makes alot of sense. A family will not need a new Nintendo Wii from grandma when they are just making it with their bill payments... a smarter present (according to article) would be either a restuarant or supermarket gift certificate! Or...gym membership for a few months! Practical, fun, and greatly appreciated!
Well...so I receive emails like this all the time, so I wasn't particulary moved by this article's content. I didn't think anything of it until I came across a website (while I was procrostinating from email checking) called ifeminists.net. One of the articles on that site was about Planned Parenthood and the new "gift cards" for Christmas they're offering. One of the points planned parenthood was making, was that healthcare is now on the bottom of womans spending lists even though woman still need health check-ups. So this PP gift card would be a great way for woman to receive basic health needs. So just like with food and health, PP decided to be practical as well. Article read:
The report said the certificates come in $25 increments and can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests.
So far so good, the irksome part is:
But can they be used for abortions?
Of course, Struben-Hall ["an official in the abortion business"] said. "We decided not to put restrictions on."
Now...umm... I'm not even sure if I can use words to describe how I feel about gift card abortions, but I think "gross" downright covers it.
I mean, when you write up the holiday list and browse the shops at the mall, will you be like "you know, Jill and Jack have been together for a while, I think she'll appreciate the $25 at PP more than this sweater, gd only knows if she can afford an abortion if she'll need one at this time of economic recession, every little bit counts!"
Shouldn't abortion be the LAST resort? Whatever one may consider a fetus, it is still a form of potentional life and sticking a gift certificate value onto ridding it makes it seem like a nothing! I think this is just an extremely irresponsible gift card, nevermind immoral and downright nasty! If Planned Parenthood wants to keep these darned cards, fine, but atleast restrict access on using them towards abortions!
Under the food category the article said the following:
Many Americans' diets have suffered as the price of good, fresh food has risen, both in restaurants and on the grocery-store shelves. For those who've cut back on dining out, a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant may be in order. Gift cards for restaurants are projected to be the top type of gift card this holiday season, according to a survey by the Archstone Consulting. For foodies and cooks on your list, a grocery-store gift card or a rockin' recipe book may be just the right holiday treat.
Under the health category the article said:
With health care costs perpetually rising, good health is more valuable than ever. A gentle push in the form of a three-month, all-expense-paid membership to a gym or a nice pair of athletic shoes may be just the thing to part that special couch potato from his or her couch. For those on your list who have little workout experience, a session with a personal trainer will help them learn the exercises and establish a regimen that will work for them.
The overall point of the article, as both these categories show, is that giving practical gifts is smarter during a recession. Which makes alot of sense. A family will not need a new Nintendo Wii from grandma when they are just making it with their bill payments... a smarter present (according to article) would be either a restuarant or supermarket gift certificate! Or...gym membership for a few months! Practical, fun, and greatly appreciated!
Well...so I receive emails like this all the time, so I wasn't particulary moved by this article's content. I didn't think anything of it until I came across a website (while I was procrostinating from email checking) called ifeminists.net. One of the articles on that site was about Planned Parenthood and the new "gift cards" for Christmas they're offering. One of the points planned parenthood was making, was that healthcare is now on the bottom of womans spending lists even though woman still need health check-ups. So this PP gift card would be a great way for woman to receive basic health needs. So just like with food and health, PP decided to be practical as well. Article read:
The report said the certificates come in $25 increments and can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests.
So far so good, the irksome part is:
But can they be used for abortions?
Of course, Struben-Hall ["an official in the abortion business"] said. "We decided not to put restrictions on."
Now...umm... I'm not even sure if I can use words to describe how I feel about gift card abortions, but I think "gross" downright covers it.
I mean, when you write up the holiday list and browse the shops at the mall, will you be like "you know, Jill and Jack have been together for a while, I think she'll appreciate the $25 at PP more than this sweater, gd only knows if she can afford an abortion if she'll need one at this time of economic recession, every little bit counts!"
Shouldn't abortion be the LAST resort? Whatever one may consider a fetus, it is still a form of potentional life and sticking a gift certificate value onto ridding it makes it seem like a nothing! I think this is just an extremely irresponsible gift card, nevermind immoral and downright nasty! If Planned Parenthood wants to keep these darned cards, fine, but atleast restrict access on using them towards abortions!
Monday, December 1, 2008
These people should not teach
As I'm walking into the house after work, my sister yells "Hey, do you want to hear the stupid thing or the immoral thing my teachers have said first?"
So I say "Whichever"
Stupid:
Imagine what it would be like without B"Y! Who knows we may be just sitting and doing drugs all day!
Umm...can I just say that this lady should be expelled from her career in education? She should be excommunicated for the Gds sake. On an intellectual level any decent student should've questioned everything they ever learned at the institution which hired her. For Judaism's future, this woman should not teach! This is probably on the top 10 list of the most retarded things BY teachers have ever said.
Hasn't it ever occured to her that not ALL children go to BY? Infact, MOST of them attend Public Schools and Parochial schools and MOST are drug free as well.
Considering it is obvious the teacher meant that without B"Y students would all be enrolled in Public School's smoking and getting high goes to show how oblivious this woman is about the "outside" world's reality. Her ignorance should be a tool used towards firing her! This woman isn't worth the tuition dollars that are being used to pay her. I'm sure the school could hire someone better informed and smarter especially since my sister's school is on the modern side!!
Immoral story (Before I say it, keep in mind its the teachers friend that said this):
Before she realized Jews were hurt in the Mumbai massacre, my friend called me up and said "Let them feel what terrorism is like"
Firstly that is DISGUSTING to say about anyone, whether Jews were or were not hurt. Secondly, this is just a bizarre way to further prove that frum education SUCKS. Wouldn't this teachers friend atleast KNOW that India is mostly a super peaceful Hindu country? A country in which the people would rarely even consider hurting a roach?
Like I said...it is DISGUSTING no matter who this is in reference too, but atleast had she been referring to Iran, Morrocco, Lebanan, Syria, Jordan even Pakistan, alteast then her point would've made PARTIAL sense. But not only was she DISGUSTING (as terrorists are a loud MINORITY in those countries, definitly not the overall majority), but she made no sense whatsoever with her point.
What sickens me, is that the teacher did not say anything negative about what her friend has said, which shows, the teacher approved of what her friend said until she heard Jews were hurt as well!
So I say "Whichever"
Stupid:
Imagine what it would be like without B"Y! Who knows we may be just sitting and doing drugs all day!
Umm...can I just say that this lady should be expelled from her career in education? She should be excommunicated for the Gds sake. On an intellectual level any decent student should've questioned everything they ever learned at the institution which hired her. For Judaism's future, this woman should not teach! This is probably on the top 10 list of the most retarded things BY teachers have ever said.
Hasn't it ever occured to her that not ALL children go to BY? Infact, MOST of them attend Public Schools and Parochial schools and MOST are drug free as well.
Considering it is obvious the teacher meant that without B"Y students would all be enrolled in Public School's smoking and getting high goes to show how oblivious this woman is about the "outside" world's reality. Her ignorance should be a tool used towards firing her! This woman isn't worth the tuition dollars that are being used to pay her. I'm sure the school could hire someone better informed and smarter especially since my sister's school is on the modern side!!
Immoral story (Before I say it, keep in mind its the teachers friend that said this):
Before she realized Jews were hurt in the Mumbai massacre, my friend called me up and said "Let them feel what terrorism is like"
Firstly that is DISGUSTING to say about anyone, whether Jews were or were not hurt. Secondly, this is just a bizarre way to further prove that frum education SUCKS. Wouldn't this teachers friend atleast KNOW that India is mostly a super peaceful Hindu country? A country in which the people would rarely even consider hurting a roach?
Like I said...it is DISGUSTING no matter who this is in reference too, but atleast had she been referring to Iran, Morrocco, Lebanan, Syria, Jordan even Pakistan, alteast then her point would've made PARTIAL sense. But not only was she DISGUSTING (as terrorists are a loud MINORITY in those countries, definitly not the overall majority), but she made no sense whatsoever with her point.
What sickens me, is that the teacher did not say anything negative about what her friend has said, which shows, the teacher approved of what her friend said until she heard Jews were hurt as well!
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