Sunday, March 30, 2008

More on my super frummy friend

By reading the comments from the last post, I remembered another hilarious story about my friend. Keep in mind, this girl goes to a completely secular college, and plans on going into the medical field.

Her first semester in college she registered to take art history. Art history was specifically a requirement for her major (which at the time was education). A few weeks into the class, she realized that the nudity from all the art bothered her, and so she dropped the class. Her excuse was that she planned on changing her major anyway, so why should she subject herself to nudity? (Ironically, her major has something to do with medicine, which, has ALOT of anatomy and bio...ohh...and when its time to take clinical, she'll most definitly need to TOUCH guys!)

Anyway, we often get into the discussion of shomer negiah. Now, I happen to be shomer with guys I date and such, but I hug my cousins and my uncles and other relatives, I shake hands at interviews, and I'd give hugs to close family friends; for her, that just isn't good enough (not that I care, but its a fun discussion). Once when we got into a discussion on being shomer negiah, she said something like "you need to be careful to avoid pregnancy", I don't remember the context that she said that in, but it wasn't totally far fetched. But I remember telling her something like "you do realize you cannot get pregnant from making-out, right?" And she was like "well, if someone is really careful" I told her "NO, it is physically IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant by making out" and she was like "well, that depends on the protection" and that was where I realized that she had NO idea what making-out was, and it was my job to enlighten her...and mind you, I was telling her this with my mom sitting next to me cracking up. After I told her what it was, she said "oh, ok, well I didn't know what it was"

Then, last summer, we got into another discussion about shomer negiah. Over the summer my mom's best freind and her children come over every shabbos (they live in a different country, and come to the US to visit for a few weeks over the summer). The oldest child is a boy and he was 15. He is like a baby brother to me. I literally grew up with him and my sister fighting, and us going to each others houses every friday (when they still lived in the States).

Anyway, during our (my friends and mine) discussion on shomer negiah, the concept of judging others came up. She told me I shouldn't judge frummies so much. So I told her that frummies judge everyone more than any other group of people I know. I told her that if I went and hugged the boy (moms friend's 15 yr old son) neither him nor I will think anything of it. I also told her, that if I were to hug him, and frummies saw, they would judge me and think I'm some sort of whore. She was like "no, thats not true"

Sure enough...I went over, hugged him (he was so confused. lol), right infront of her. She was like "I don't think any less of you"...I said "but Gd forbid your younger sibling does that when she grows up, huh?" And she was like "yes, I wouldn't want her to do that!" I completely forgot about that story. Completely. But then a few weeks ago, we got into another discussion, and she said "but don't you remember how I didn't judge you when you hugged him?"

And well...I told my mom, and she was like "well, I guess she just proved she did judge you if she remembered that."


Jessica said...

That reminds me of a post I read on FunkyFrum's blog. She wrote about this frum couple that thought they were having trouble getting pregnant so they went to a fertility clinic. Turns out they weren't having sex. They thought that to get pregnant all you had to do was hold hands.

And as for the "you judge frummies" conversation... how does them judging you make it alright for you to judge them? I'm not saying I mind when you judge them. It gives me quite a laugh. But come on...

Orthoprax said...

What's wrong with judging? Based on what you've said so far, I fear for any patients your friend may have. Let people like her judge you all they want - what they think doesn't really matter.

Moshe said...

This reminded me of a joke, can't remember it and can't find but it goes something like this.
Newlywed couple, wedding night, kalla calls her mother and asks her what to do.
Her mother says, "he has to take his head and put it where you pish."
Five minutes later kalla calls again. "I don't think it's working. He put his head in the toilet but I don't feel anything happening."

Jewish Sceptic said...

Poor frummies.
For their lack of secular education, at least they (mostly) make it up in religious education. Most unfortunately, that's not strictly true either.

As for people judging, everyone judges everyone at all times. Snap judgements happen every day. But what I think you mean is if someone thinks less of you and treats you differently after they saw you do something like hug a male relative...and whilst that may be wrong from your perspective, it's a way of life they disagree with completely from theirs, rationally or let's not be TOO hard on them :P

Anonymous said...

im glad you have her just to make fun of her on your blog. :) can wait to see her this shalosh seudos.

fav. anonymous :)dwpmzt

frumsatire said...

You should have asked her if she knew the shomer negia song.

frum single female said...

there's a shomer negiah song?

frumskeptic said...

frum single female:

I believe it goes like this:

I'm shomer negia so leave me alone,
If you wanna get with me, just pick up the phone,
stay on your side of the line, because my body is exclusively mine.