Wednesday, December 30, 2009
She was telling me the typical day of the average kollel guy or Rabbi (her husband) in kollel community...
- Wakes up early, runs to catch minyan.
- comes home, has breakfast, runs to morning shuir.
- comes home for dinner time, stays for about an hour, and then goes for maariv and night shuir.
- comes home about 11 (depending on who he speaks with etc)
She gave me exact hours, but I'd be lying if I told you I remembered them (which is why I didnt post them). But I do remember that she pretty much just sees her husband that one hour for dinner, and then from 11 till they go to bed (which varies on the night of the week), and then fully on shabbos.
This lady who was telling me, has spent her entire married life, seeing her husband with these teeny amount of hours... meaning their first year of marraige.
I cannot fathom how a marraige can possibly function properly, if the couple sees each other soooo seldomly. Especially the first year of marraige... how in the hell can they possibly get to know each other, with hours like that? Can one even say they're living with each other, or just AROUND each other like roommates?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
In the car he was telling me about how his first year of marraige he was in kollel. He said he couldn't handle it. He was unable to bear the burden, knowing his (and her) parents were supporting him. He said he couldn't handle it for more than one year. He wasn't able to go out to eat, or buy a soda from a local bodega knowing that it was a luxury his parents had to work hard to provide for. So he didn't do things like that. He said rent he was able to accept because he told himself they were providing for the Torah Learning. But he couldn't bear anything other than that. He couldn't justify it to himself.
Imagine if all learners (and many non-full-time learners as well) had that kind of regard for other people's money... Maybe the economic crisis wouldn't have hit as hard as it did in the community...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Fountainhead was written by a woman who was so anti-communism, she became a liberatarian. Ayn Rand was like the Liberatarian. Her views on everything (in my opinion) are quite awesome, but so extreme that most of them cannot be feasable. (fun fact: Alan Greenspan was one of her friends/followers, attended her funeral and used her philosophy in alot of his work).
Anyway, the book is full of incredible quotes. The first "quote" is probably my favorite of all time, and describes the vast majority of frum people quite well- I'm going to copy the dialogue:
person 1- "...but I guess thats what the public wants."
person 2- "Why do you suppose they want it?"
person 1- "I don't know."
person 2- "Then why should you care what they want?"
person 1- "You've got to consider the public.:
person 2- "Don't you know that most people take most things because that's what's given them, and they have no opinion whatever? Do you wish to be guided by what they expect you to think they think or by your own judgment?"
If you're reading this and cannot fathom why I think person 1 is a typical frummy, while person 2 has a brain (and is not so typical), then you're probably just like person 1.
The following is a quote that I just adore, because it describes how I feel about frum people everytime I'm surrounded by to many of them (at various events or at shul and the women only talk about their hair, make-up and diets). As you read it, please substitute Peter for "Frummy" (I didnt wanna kill the quote so I left it original).
"You- Peter, you're everything I despise in the world and I don't want to remember how much I despise it. If I let myself remember- I'll return to it. this is not an insult to you, Peter. Try to understand that. You're not the worst of the world. You're its best. That's what's frightening."
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
This friend claimed that it causes jealousy amongst the students, because some have Mom’s & Dads who welcome the crafts, while others give a whole lecture against them. My view is that Kids will be Kids, and jealousy will come anyway. There is no reason why a teacher cannot use an excuse for arts n’crafts (it keeps the kids occupied). Also, if the teachers are smart they can turn secular holiday arts n’ crafts into a learning experience as well. Thanksgiving is a clear example. Have the kids cut out boat shapes and spell out the Mayflower on it… around Columbus day you can have them cut out similar boat shapes with Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria spelled out. Sure, Mothers and Fathers Day complicates the lecture, but if a teacher so chooses she can say “Many frum Jews don’t celebrate days specifically dedicated for Mom’s & Dad’s –and say why- but you can get great gifts, so sometimes taking advantage of the cheapness is the Jewish way too J…” Something, anything… Why is it that we have to completely screw around with such innocent holidays and allow “jealousy.”
Some kids hold by Cholov Yisroal and cannot experience the deliciousness of the Kit Kat or the Snickers bar, or DUNKIN DONUTS!!!.. how come they don’t complain about Cholov Yisroal ?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
One might think that between his and her savings and wedding present money all should be well. Right? Well apparently not. Because she still felt that she needed some financial help, so she went and had her teacher from HS fill out a form for her to receive 2 sets of dishes, 2 sets of pots/pans, 2 sets of flatwear, sheets, towels and a huge amount of coupons to help pay for furniture (honestly I don’t consider coupons a big deal, but I’m just mentioning what she’s getting), a food processor, and other small random things that should, atleast in my opinion *not* be given out for free if the kallah is having an *expensive* wedding.
Now… Someone told me that I may not know the full situation so I shouldn’t judge and get all ticked off. But I thought about that, and here is what I *do* know
- She has over $10,000 in savings
- He has over $10,000 in savings
- While $20,000 doesn’t get a newly wed couple to far (btwn appliances, furniture, *rent* (in the NYC area will not hold that amount for long), bills etc). its still quite a number especially since one is working and the other is looking for a job (oh… and wedding money soon to come…)
- The wedding is *not* being paid for by a hachnosses kallah org, and since I've been to the hall she’s being married in (when I was looking for my own wedding) I *know* the place is *not* exactly cheap, because I know the cost per plate… Like I said, I know she’s not the richest person etc… I understand that some people need help starting a marriage… but she is having an EXPENSIVE wedding. If she’s dumb enough to either spend all the money on the wedding or go into debt over the wedding, she shouldn’t be qualified for the free stuff. Infact, Since she has enough money in savings and soon in wedding money to definitely get by for a about a year, there should be no reason she’s getting help *now* anyway… SPECIFICALLY because she’s having an expensive wedding. I don’t get this… why do Jews think its their RIGHT to irresponsibly spend money and still qualify for “help”?!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I also have this friend, who is currently seeing a guy, who is slightly (literally, slightly) more religious than she is. Her family is freaking out (they don't like him because she's sephardi/he's ashkanazie), so they keep telling her that he'll *make* her cover her hair; he's only saying now that he doesn't care, because he just wants to get married [if he's that desperate, he needs a shrink, not a wife with a sheital].
Normally, I ignore people who are stupid, but in this case, since my friend is being bombarded with the same retardedness as my father is, I'm going to just write a ranting post about it.
Firstly (and I said this to my friend when she was complaining to me), I'd like to know how any man- even woman for that matter- could *make* someone cover their hair? Is there a crazy glue gemach that works with the sheital gemach... together with the consent of the husband, they raid the house in the middle of the night and crazy glue a sheital onto a woman's head?
Secondly, I don't know what goes on on shidduch dates, but my fiance and I (and my friend and the guy she's seeing) DISCUSSED hair covering. If he lied to me about where he stands on this issue to the extent that he'll *make* me cover my hair a few months into the marriage, what else is he lying about? I'll have bigger issues to worry about than whether or not my head is covered with a shmata or a bit of 3rd world hair!
Thirdly...well...I don't have a thirdly.. People are just stupid.
Does anyone know how someone can *make* a woman cover her hair?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
We didn't go to the wedding. It was in a church. My uncle asked us to please at least go to the reception, but really... what's a reception if you don't participate in the ceremony?
And so... we didn't go to the wedding. We didn't even really feel as if we missed much, after all, when we went to the fiance's shower we felt totally out of place.
I was browsing facebook earlier today. Lo and behold my uncle was tagged in a few of the photos in an album dedicated completely to his wedding. I went and looked through the photos.
1- the "church" wedding, was literally something that would've made me vomit had I been unaware and attended the ceremony. The "chupah" was held in the front of the church (that would be the alter?) right UNDER a *huge* cross, with, you guessed it, a Jesus hanging from it.
2- My uncle was standing there in a frikkin KIPPA!!
I mean really... REALLY!?! I'm all for open minded and all that nonsense, but even a reform person can't JUSTIFY standing under an IDOL performing a traditional ceremony with a man there in a KIPPA!
But NOOOOO... The "rabbi" was a dumba$$ who said that a Jew being in a church was ok as long as he was wearing a kippa.
3- The people at that wedding made me REALLLLLLLY happy I'm not very close with my new aunt's side. The way they dressed is not just immodest (which doesn't bother me much), but was literally indecent. IT was like beach dresses. I've been to nice non-religious weddings, where the girls wore nice chiffon teeny dresses or taffeta or silk. but at least the material was classy. At this wedding, it's like they threw s/t on that was in the dress category, and felt it was appropriate. They looked as if they were at the wedding in a beach cover-up outfit.
4- At her shower I met a reaaaaaallllllly distant relative. A relative that not only had I never met, but my mother had never met either. Anyway, my grandma has always been telling us that this relative (let's call her Devora) was frum. We knew exactly how "frum" she was when we were told she had THREE sets of dishes... 2 for kashrus purposes (1 meat, 1 dairy), and one for when she feels like eating traif.
At this shower my family was given kosher food, while Devora said she'll eat "dairy" at the place. Fine, no problem. Not everyone cares and I certainly don't. She just really bothered me because she kept talking about her own stupid family as if people she had just met really care that much!
Oh... and then of course, this same "frum" relative was found in the very SAME facebook photo album. Standing there in the VERY same picture in the church with the chupah under the idol was this "FRUM" relative!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know ... eat what you want, dress how you want. But don't frikkin pretend to be frum and not even be remotely bothered by the fact that not only was he marrying a shiksa (one can claim to be open minded), but he was performing a pretty holy ceremony in front of an IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't fathom what a frikkin idiot this woman is. I'm trying to figure out who bothers me more in all this, Devora for attending the ceremony or the "rabbi" for approving it.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
THe first story takes place after my best friends shabbos kallah:
My best friends shabbos kallah came to an end. Since she could not see her chosson (and because she happens to be nice), she drove me and another girl (mutual friend) home. The other girl was in the car and innocently asked me "Does it bother you that you got engaged first, yet you're getting married after her?"
My best friend was like "we're so not like that, its not a competition."
I said "yea, its not a competition, just because my fiance and I decided it were better to have a longer engagement, doesn't mean I want everyone around me to put their lives on hold."
I can't help but laugh at this, mostly becuase it's a pathetic question, and a pathetic outlook in life. When one gets engaged, its not about getting to the chupah first, its about the marraige itself. If someone gets married first, second, third or fourth, that doesn't mean their marriage will be better or worse. Yet, its quite common for frummies to focus on getting married ASAP so as not to turn into an "old maid" at the ripe "old" age of 21 (or is it 22 now?).
The second story took place at a sheva brachos:
A girl went over to the Rabbi and asked the following question "Is it true that if a kallah steps on someones foot during the dancing at a wedding, she's the next to get married?"
Due to the tone, I'm almost positive the question was not actually serious. But the response was so funny.
The Rabbi responded kinda confused "I've never heard of that, but don't go around spreading it, or else all the single girls will ask to be stomped on!"
How pathetically true is that? LOL. I was trying so hard not to laugh. :)
It's after 2 am, and so I cannot recall all the stories I meant to share. Maybe I"ll repost. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Emergency. Please say tehillim for dov Yisroel mordechai ben chaya sara he is in trial now to get sentence to a terrible prison! Thank u"I responded and asked "who is he and what was his crime"
She responded "I have no idea."
To which I said "and how do you know he isn't guilty and deserve it?" (and I gave her an example of the frummies arrested a few weeks ago)
And she goes "I feel bad for those people and I will pray for them. They tried to do good but it turned out bad. I'm not judging"
"they tried to do good but it turned out bad?"...
Since when was that in the story? I haven't heard anyone say the intentions were good.
I heard the Rabbi's were lied too. But not "tried to do good"
I don't fathom what it is about defending wrongdoers.
The FBI was on this investigation for about 10 years
The FBI is full of highly intelligent people.
I think its safe to conclude that the FBI is most definitely correct on this.
I don't even understand why we should feel for these people. If anything these people should be used as a life lesson (especially if one does not have a fear of Hashem)"hmm... if I steal, maybe the FBI will see me, and catch me, and then put me in jail."
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
There once was a lady somewhere in frumville whose child got engaged. She had little money and was unable to afford to make a simcha. Since she was a proud women, she had no desire to ask for charity. Her friend wanted to help her, but she refused to accept charity even from her friends.
Her friend thought of a plan. She decided to sell "raffle tickets." She collected a lot of money. Then went and sold a raffle to her proud friend.
The proud friend "won" the money because she had the system rigged (by not actually having the raffle).
When the Rabbi was telling over this story, he said it with such pride over the frum community. He was saying how wonderful it was that a friend would go out of her way to create a raffle to RIG it, in order to enable her proud friend to throw her child a simcha.
Am I the only one who thinks what this lady did by inventing a raffle is a form of theft? I can't even fathom how a RABBI could introduce this subject into anything other than "theft 101" or "How to manipulate funds 101".. to PRAISE this woman is far from appropriate. I think it's disgusting.
I buy raffle tickets. I personally don't expect to win, I give the money as a form of tzedakah, but I like to know that I have a CHANCE of winning... not necessarily because I intend to win, but because I want to know that my money is going to a legit organization. If an organization is legit, they'd actually RAFFLE OFF tickets- and not just lie about the whole thing.
Am I the only one who thinks that frummy idiots should stop blaming all frum problems on the "lack of tznius" and start focusing on the THEFT in the community. For heavens sake, a Rabbi praised a woman who made up the raffle!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its no wonder we have minyanim (of frum men) in US prisons with KOSHER food!!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A woman in a hot
> air balloon realized she was lost.
> She lowered her
> altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
> She shouted to
> him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I
> would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I
> am." The man
> consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in
> a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground
> elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31
> degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09
> minutes west longitude. "She rolled
> her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
> am," replied the man. "How did
> you know?" "Well,"
> answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is
> technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your
> information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not
> been much help to me." The man smiled
> and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
> am," replied the balloonist. "How did
> you know?" "Well,"
> said the man, "you don't know where you are or
> where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due
> to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have
> no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
> problem. You're in
> exactly the same position you were in before we met, but
> somehow, now it's my fault.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Due to the fact that I’ve been busy lately, the amount of time I spend blogging has decreased (as if that needed mentioning). Someone had asked me if they could guest post, and I decided that branching out was definitely a good idea. I was also thrilled that this particular person wanted to write about fairness, about
I’d like to welcome you to a guest post. Enjoy-
If the Sisterhood of a shul has a luncheon or any type of fundraising event, all of its proceeds go to the shul.
If the shul itself has any sort of fundraising event like the Melava Malka, all the proceeds go to the shul.
If the Russian program has an event at the shul, all proceeds go to the Russian Program.
Is that fair?
Why is it that the Russian program gets away with lining its own pockets and only “donating” to the shul once a year in a form of a “Kiddush?”
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I've learned that its a huge thing for camps to forbid cell phones.
I know frummies are nut jobs, but I imagined that some of the camps would
allow cellphones if they're kept off and are only used during break hours.
Nope. Of course I was wrong.
One of my friends explained to me that cell phones are not allowed because the camps have a "mixed" crowd. She said that while some boys are from families who allow cell phones other boys may come from families who do not allow them, so therefore the camp forbids the phones to avoid any potential conflict.
When I heard that reasoning I got really annoyed.
I honestly don't understand why there is such babying in the frummy community. I grew up in a public school, where everything was allowed. Over the years my parents refused to buy me plenty of things I wanted that "everyone else" had. Even in HS when I was one of the last girls in my program to get a cell phone; the only reason I finally received one was because my YOUNGER sister (who wasn't yet in HS), needed to travel to the city, and my overprotective parents decided to get a family plan.
I learned to live with having DIFFERENT sorts of friends. I learned over the years that I can't be like everyone else, and that while some things seemed awesome, they were either totally impractical and a complete waste of money, or just not the type of thing that fit in with my family.
That is called GROWING or MATURING. This is how NORMAL people teach their kids how the world works; they send them to school, and then refuse to buy their kids things their friends have but they don't need (hopefully with an explanation).
Parents don't always say no. Sometimes things friends have are actually reasonable. If the parents are smart, they'll help the kid start a new trend (I remember in kindergarten a few moments of class time for a few days were devoted to playing with random things my mom made out of paper).
Frummies cannot comprehend the concept of being DIFFERENT. They feel like everyone has to be the same. Gd forbid a child's feelings get hurt because his parents are "frummer".
How is a kid going to end up in the work force one day and realize that it's no longer just "machmir" it's the ENTIRE culture that differentiates him from his coworkers?
If school (and camp) is supposed to be a learning experience for the children, why the hell does the administration avoid potential life lessons to be revealed at home later on in the day, after camp?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Once again, frummies have been caught in a white-collar crime... they've been laundering money...
What else is new?
Well, actually something is new- body parts. For the first time ever I've heard about frummies profiting off of organs!!!!!! BODY PART TRAFICKING!
I mean really?!
As if laundering money isn't bad enough, we gotta add ORGANS into the picture!
The worst part about this, was that I received an email to "pray for the Rabbis of the community"
They want me to PRAY for these people?! Why?? They did something illegal. They deserve to pay the consequences of it.
Aside from that, they once again allowed the title of "Rabbi" to be demeaned by their selfish acts.
Pray for them, I certainly will not.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
> *HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE WORLD TODAY: *
> *Avoid riding in automobiles because they are
> responsible for **20 %** of all fatal accidents.
> Do not stay at home because **17 percent** of all
> accidents occur in the home. (that's 37% already)
> Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because **14 percent** of all
> accidents occur to pedestrians.(now that's 51%)
> Avoid traveling by air, trains or buses, **16 percent** of accidents involve
> these forms of transportation. (that's 67%)
> Of the remaining 33 percent, **32 percent** of all
> deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.
> You will be pleased to learn that only
> **0.01 %** **of all deaths occur in a synagogue,**
> **and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.
> Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any
> given point in time is in Synagogue.
> Torah Study is even safer. The number of deaths
> during Torah Study is too small to register.
> For safety's sake, go to Shul as often as
> possible, and attend Torah Study.
> It could save your life!
> Author Unknown
> PS: You don't have to be Jewish to go to shul. You may
> not understand what the old guys are saying but sometimes they serve
> wine in paper cups.*
Monday, July 13, 2009
The book is a tad outdated like for example, Michael Jackson is on it, as # 90. For his reason as to why he has MJ on the list, he wrote "If I have to explain it to you, you shouldn't be reading this book!"
Aside from MJ, he also has Anna Nichole Smith on there (#53) ... so, yea, the book is a tad outdated. COnsidering both MJ and ANS are 6-feet-under (atleast the latter is), the outdated part is kinda obvious. Heck, there may even be other dead people. I'm only on # 49... which actually brings me to the purpose of this post.
#49 is Ingrid Newkirk, who is a PETA activist. I've always known that PETA people were extreme, but I always fail to fully see insanity until it smacks me right in the face.
Ingrid Newkirk is a real dumba$$,and I fully agree with Bernie as to why she's on this list. He dedicated 3 pages on why she, and people like her, are screwing up America. While he gave many examples, all of which were more than enough to convince me of her rightful place on this list, it wasn't until the following quote, that I really truly comprehended how totally screwed up these dumba$$es are. Here is the quote:
"Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses." - Ingrid Newkirk, Washington Post 11/13/83
Honestly, I have a feeling the South Park episode in which they make fun of PETA is accurate. These morons probably do sleep with animals.
Ingrid is the same person who wrote a letter to Arafat after a suicide bombing in Israel, condemning him "because a donkey was used in the bombing." I've heard about that letter, but I never focused on the name of the person, or really ever looked into it.
I will enjoy eating meat even more now that I know exactly the type of people I'm ticking off in the process.
Eating meat is a mitzvah. It irritates people such as Ingrid Newkirk. During the 9 days, when we abstain from meat, we will be miserable, not only because we'll be mourning the terrible destruction of the temple, but because the 9 days of no meat, will prevent us from taking pleasure in spiting a particular PETA member.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Mike in Midwood wrote a post about this, here is the link :
Monday, July 6, 2009
At a time of economic crisis people begin to worry and the coupon clip, and they try to put more money into savings. The national savings average went up to 5% from almost 0%.
Why am I talking about this? Well, mostly because I need to vent.
It bother's me that so many people have no understanding about what money is. They have little knowledge of how the economy works, and they certainly have no idea how to manage their own family budget without living in credit.
I use a credit card to pay for almost everything. I love credit cards. I get to buy stuff without worrying that I have too much or too little cash in my bag. I get the great rewards from the points I gain with every purchase, and I also have a very easy way to budget my finances. Every month, the credit card company sends me a list of all the purchases I made, and If I overspend (went over my budget), I'll know exactly what to cut out from the next month. I'll also know approximately how much I spent, because since I hardly ever use cash, my cc statement is a very accurate money-journal for me.
Unlike most people who use credit cards, I actually pay off my ENTIRE balance at the end of each month. I have a few credit cards (a main one, a jic one, and a specific store one), and if I used more than one, I pay them ALL off. Why? Because if I can't afford something I just don't buy it! If only more people spent like me.
Everytime I speak to one particular lady I know in my office about credit cards, she always says "you should never use a credit card for the rewards, because thats how they get you in. Use one without the rewards and you'll think twice before making any purchases, because you'll only get the interest rates out of it."
So I told her "I pay off my full balance, every month. The rewards are like free cash."
She goes "No one does that!"
And I go "umm, yea..."
People like this irritate me. This same woman runs around and complains how its hard for her to pay her mortgage. Both she and her husband work. Her kids are grown, both have jobs and are hardly ever home.
Every few days she receives a package from Overstock, or Gap, or Macy's...
She charges those purchases...
She orders take out about 3 times a week for lunch and a few times a week buys already made food for home.
I don't care if people spend money on themselves, and they splurge a little. We're all entitled to some luxury. But if you're pampering yourself at the expense of having to pay high interest on your credit card, "take it like a man" and don't wander around and complain you have no money.
also, another girl at my office. Granted she's single and lives at home, so her life is pretty good, she wastes sooo much money I just want to cry for her when she complains. I feel like making her keep a money journal in which she has to record every expense for a week, and then having her add it up.
Its like "LADY, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU"RE DOING?!"
I can't help but be bothered by the fact that people waste so much money and then have the audacity to complain about it.
like I said, we're all entitled to luxuries (especially if we work and spending hard earned money on fun things is a relief), but if the luxuries are overdone, its a bit annoying when PEOPLE COMPLAIN!!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
1- The RamBam learned to be a physician by learning the science in the Gemara. All the books he wrote pertaining to medicine, and all the science he learned were written/read in the bathroom. He never actually wasted time learning how to be a phsyician as a modern day residence would, he knew exactly what to do when the time came, without ever putting theory into practice.
2- Yehuda never actually thought Tamar was a hooker! He knew who she was, afterall, why would anyone other than Tamar sit covered outside the city wall on a beautiful day and entice men if thats how hookers were known to get clients in those days?
3- After the sea split, and the Jews made it across, Miriam and the ladies danced and sang behind a mechitza.
4- Pinchus went on a killing spree because the women weren't dressed tzniously [ nothing at all to do with the fact that people were fornicating infront of idols.]
That is the end of what I remember.
If any of you heard similar, I'd love to read about it in the comments :-D
Monday, June 29, 2009
Here is a piece of the letter:
Our Chachonim discussed these topics. They said that boys can lose their yiras Shomayim by not wearing yarmulkas. They spoke about timtum halev, which comes from the wrong things going into one's mouth.
When a boy is small as his yarmulka falls off, how quickly do we run to put it back? Do we realize that this can spell difference between whether he will still be in yeshiva at age 17? When we allow our daughters to eat cholov stam chocolate bar, do we realize the ramifications down the line and where this can lead? When our toddlers have fever and we give them Tylenol gelcaps with treif in it, why do we wonder that so many of our youth are falling by wayside?
These things are not opinions or thoughts. These are facts, built into Creation since the first six days.
The letter continued a little bit. But not by much.
Aside from the fact that this guy clearly doesn't know the difference between a chumra and a halacha as well as doesn't know the fact that he doesn't realize toddlers aren't given gel caps for safety reasons; He also clearly doesn't realize that this world is filled with very few absolute truths and the "truths" he described are certainly not built into Creation. The OTD rate is high, and while we can speculate as to why this is, to refer to these things as "facts" is just mind-boggling.
I don't understand this concept of a scare tactic. If anything I'd say its ignorant people like this guy who turn people off the path. He clearly has no understanding of what a halacha is, as well is completely ignorant of the history of the Jews. It wasn't until recently that Jews had 100 different hechshers on a single item. And it wasn't until recently that the frummy community was able to boast about a huge BT rate. And lo and behold, many BT's have no reservations admitting they ate actual treif, not just a "linient" version of something kosher.
If anything, this day and age no one would be going off the derech because now we have X-ray lights to check our lettuce!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The article said the following:
...Our evidence is indirect, but we think it shows that price changes can have subtle and sometimes hard-to-detect consequences. Any change in price results in two phenomena. The first is the substitution effect: a change in consumption mix due to a change in relative prices. If a bag of salad is $2 and a bag of potato chips is $1, then the price of salad in terms of chips is two bags and the price of a bag of chips is half a bag of salad. If a Wal-Mart opens and reduces the price of salad to $1 a bag and the price of chips to 75 cents a bag, the "salad price" of chips has risen (from 1/2 bag to 3/4 bag) and the "chip price" of salad has fallen from 2 bags to 4/3 bags. In short, salad has become cheaper relative to chips.
The other effect from a change in prices is the income effect, which is a change in consumption due to a change in purchasing power. If Wal-Mart sells food at lower prices--even if our incomes don't change--every dollar can buy more. Therefore, we're richer.
I find this awesome. Because while the government is spending a fortune trying to figure out how to make poor people healthier; the CHEAP and easy answer is staring them right in the face!
As the great author (Art Carden) of the article said:
Do you want to make poor people healthier? Then restricting the growth of discount chains is the last thing you should do. Instead, repeal programs that distort incentives- like agricultural subsidies that make junk food made from corn and soybean derivatives artificially cheap. Next, cut payroll taxes. With more take-home pay in their pockets, lower-income workers can afford to buy foods that are better for their health.
This guy is suggesting the opposite of what the government is doing. I find that fascinating. As if liberals don't screw up enough, they now make it more expensive for NYC residents to stay thin, or lose weight.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Here is one full letter from the Yated (Feb 20. issue-I'm behind), and a description and quote from another, followed by my humble POV. :-D:
As a longtime reader of the Yated who has always enjoyed your paper, I hope that perhaps my letter here will spurn some change in the way our children's schools give vacation. Our daughter is a preschool student in a Brooklyn girls' yeshiva and the amount of vacation that he school gives has baffled us.
You see, not more than six weeks removed from a long Chanukah vacation, it appears to be necessary to give off almost an entire week for mid-winter vacation. Two weeks later, President's Day is a mandatory holiday that we all must celebrate because the school gives off. Finally, three weeks after that, there is a three-day vacation to celebrate the Yom Tov of Purim which, the last time I checked, is only a one-day Yom Tov in Brooklyn. Of course, four weeks after that is the two-week Pesach vacation.
In today's environment, where for many children both sets of parents are working to make ends meet, the amount of vacation that our children's schools are giving is broering on inconsiderate. Asking aprents to make arrangements every few weeks for thier children so that they can go out and make a parnassah or to ask the same parents to stay home instead of going to work should be reconsidered.
I beleive the time has come to reasses whether it is beneficial for our children to be out of school as often as they are. We must find a good medium that works for students, parents and teachers.
The second letter is about a guy whose son came back from a camp reunion, excited about going to camp the following summer. The father on the other hand was having financial difficulties. He had no clue how to tell his son that he wouldn't be able to go to camp, so he decided to speak to the kid's Rebbe in hopes of getting advice. The Rebbe said the following:
"camp is no longer a luxury, but more of a necessity in developing within them a cheshek for Torah and Yiddishkeit...the wonderful blend of ruchniyos and gashmiyus of Camp (fill in name here), and especially the experience of Shabbos Kodesh spent b'kedusha and in the presence of gedolim and bnei Torah, could not and should not be so easily discounted."
blah blah, the guy called the financial office of the camp and agreed on a payment plan for his kid.
So now, here are my opinions of the disturbing letters above:
While I see the point of parents being annoyed by the constant vacations, and the constant need to find babysitters, I find it truly disturbing how parents lack in creativity skills and lack in respect towards their children.
Finding a babysitter on the days that most schools are closed should not be so hard- find a neighbor who has older children who also have off, and work out a deal. Maybe have them watch your kids for free, and in exchange drive them to school. or drive them to weddings or set up some kind of an arrangement.
There is also the concept of getting a grandparent to watch the kids, or a retired aunt or uncle. That's what my parents did. Sometimes they had the babysitter do it. Schools have CALENDERS for a reason. It's not like they call the Friday before Presidents' Day to inform parents of school closing!
The truly disturbing part, is the last paragraph:
"I believe the time has come to reassess whether it is beneficial for our children to be out of school as often as they are. We must find a good medium that works for students, parents and teachers."
Parents seem to be expecting the school to be their kid's babysitter, not their kid's educator. Parents also seem to not care too much about the student's, because students, young and old, seem to LOVE the days off (at least I remember loving them,and I know my sister loves them, too).
In comparing this with the second letter on how camps are mandatory, we can logically conclude that schools expect camps to teach. Especially since there was a part in the letter that mentioned that the Rebbe the parent spoke to happened to also be a sleep-away camp Rebbe (not the same camp this letter was talking about), which only goes to show that school, pretty much is year round instotution in the frum community. Which brings me to the reason for dedicating this post to "remy":
Many frum people lack in the creativity and maturity skills to be decent parents. They have children and expect society to be their babysitter. The few days, weeks & months off once in a while should not be a problem for any parent with an ounce of creativity.
1- kids can be sent to a relative to be watched
2- a babysitter can be hired.
3- parents can take turns taking days off w/ aunts & uncles, and just watch cousins and have "play-dates" on those days off.
To shamelessly write letters to the Yated complaining about too-many CALENDER days off, is pathetic. It shows that my "misinterpretation" of your schools "discussion" was not far off.
Take a look at the facts. Frum people see no problem ridding their kids, and administrators are power-hungry. You think that camp is more necessary now than it was before? How so? Did our parents generation forget less when they were younger? Did they study more?
I do find this rather humorous. School is already year round, parents are open to financially sound options of preventing their kids from forgetting how to learn. And Remy is denying the intentions of the school.
Having parent-friendly schedules is one thing. But children aren't parents. They need more time off to be a kid and to learn about themselves.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
One of the speaker's stories went like this:
-I graduated an all girls school. I wanted to marry a kollel guy. I went to seminary and then to touro college. I found myself a kollel guy. All was well and perfect. It was exactly how we wanted it. I was so happy. Everything was going smoothly. I had a job as a morah. What made me get a real job, was when one day we went to the store and we realized diapers cost money! and then another day we realized Steak costs money! so we realized we couldn't sustain ourselves anymore so we both decided to become lawyers..."-
Interesting story, no? The story points out 2 things:
1- school, especially the BY, does not, at all, teach students anything about the "real world."
They should've been taught that things cost money. And they should've been told that money runs out, especially if not budgeted properly (I'm assuming they had enough simcha money, which was why they didn't feel the burden so much until after the baby came).
2- School should not be year round, because it doesn't teach anything about what real-life brings anyway.
I do have to put the positive in ...
The lady and her hubby learned their lesson and they aren't the type to encourage kollel on their kids, because they know better. :-)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
2 examples of the latter:
1- A catering facility is strictly certified kosher. The hall it is located in has a ton of hustle throughout the week. Then one day of the week, say every Friday, an organization that is local allows outside food to come in from people's homes. The kashering agency turns a blind-eye to it without fully examing where all of the food comes from. Would you eat there?
2- Imagine a scenario in which a catering facility is having a fleishig's meal. The kitchen is fleishigs. If ever there is a need for dairy, the entire kitchen gets covered by tablecloth. If anything needs to be put into the oven, it gets double wrapped to avoid treifing the oven. In the scenario you are imagining picture the facility is having fleishigs for that day. One of the mini-organizations that comes to that hall decides they don't want fleishigs but want milchigs, so they cover one area with the tablecloth- only a few inches away- from the uncovered area/fleishigs location, basically meaning, anything could happen. Would you eat there?
Now, if i told you both 1 and 2 were the same place, would you eat there?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Dear Mr. and Mrs. _____,
We are no preparing our fourth quarter of (insert school publication name here), our parent-teacher newsletter, and we are eager to hear your voice in our Roundtable Discussion.
With final exams upon us, and the temperature outside rising ever higher, vacation time is indeed calling our names. Vacation is a good thing; we all need this respite to recharge, reflect, renew. And there is no question that our teachers and students have well-earned their break. As educators, though, we worry about closing the books for ten weeks- we worry about vacation's effect on students' memory retention and study habits. Moreover, we worry about vacation's effects on students' memory retention and study habits. Moreover, we worry about students' withdrawal from our koslei beis-medrash - we worry about the ever-penetrating outside messages which stealthily creep into our systems.
A question we often consider is which school calender would ultimately be more effective for our students' scholastic achievement and personal growth- the traditional calender, a September through June school year culminating in an eight-week summer break- or the balanced calender, year round school with scattered mini vacations throughout the school year?
What are your thoughts as you approach the ten-week summer break?
Honestly I don't even know where to begin, here goes
1- "we worry about the penetrating outside messages which stealthily creep into our systems."
if one were to look up the definition of parenting, they would open a dictionary and find that it says "the rearing of children";
If one were to look up rearing it would say "to take care of and support up to maturity."
if one were to look up schooling- the process of being taught in school;
Now, here is where I think frum people get a little bit confused... REARING is *not* in the definition of the word "schooling" rather it is in "parenting". Frum people should take a frikkin course in PARENTING before they allow or even consider allowing a school (or unfortunately in today's day, the federal government) to "rear" their children for them.
Any every-penetrating outside messages should be the sole responsibility of- guess who- the PARENTS to take care of! THIS INCLUDES THE TIME *DURING* THE SCHOOL YEAR, *NOT* JUST THE SUMMER BREAK!
2- Last year, I had a series of KGB vs. Yeshiva/frum community posts. I thought it was mostly funny how they had similarities- sad- yet slightly amusing. After this letter, I no longer find it amusing. As a frum people, we not only don't give a damn about our children (sending them to sunday school, allow them to marry strangers because they passed a checklist of appropriate schools) but we don't give a damn about Hashem, and the concept of Torah She'bal pe.
The written torah *does* say to be fruitful and multiple, but Gd never intended for mothers to just be surrogates and fathers to be sperm-donors all for a diverse STUDENT body for a principal to raise.
Holy crap... What is this world coming to??
If schools head onto this path, I'm homeschooling.
Frum people suck.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Hashem has made a set balance of good and bad, frum and not frum, light and dark etc, and so, the more kiruv you do, and the more people you "make" frum, it becomes equivalent to the amount of people who go off the derech.
This idea of a balance has come to me after a lot of observance and consideration of random nonsense I've heard at shuirim, so here goes:
1- I've mentioned this time and time again, the OTD rate is ridiculously high. All the Rebbeim are flipping out. I've heard that BT communities have more men (men become frummer at a higher rate than women do), and similarly, the men go OTD more often than woman do (one of the many reasons they kvetch about a "shidduch crisis").
Right there is a direct show of the "necessity" of kiruv- try to root new flowers, and in return you kill the ones already rooted...
2- Many shuirim and many tshuva speeches I attended (like before Rosh Hoshanah and Yom Kippur) I heard that if you want Hashem to bring moshiach, you yourself, and only yourself, have to change your actions to fulfill more mitzvahs, and spread goodness, because one cannot change the actions of others. The idea is if you do good deeds, not only are you bettering yourself, but you're setting an example for others to become good.
If these shuirim are in actuality preaching what hashem wants, then commercial kiruv (oorah, ncsy, l'man achai etc) is a complete waste of time. To create specific programs, exclusive to potential BT's, we are only defeating the purpose of the concept of "lead by example"
3- The purpose of kiruv, is often, to make others return to Judaism. One of the main ROOT reasons for doing this, is to bring moshiach quicker. Often commercial kiruv organizations use manipulative skills to turn people. They begin to twist works of literature to show how corrupted society is, while ignoring all the abuse and whore-like behavior in the bible. They also point to everything in the "outside world" and compare it to the goodness of the religious world. This once again defeats the purpose of "lead by example" that I mentioned in #2, and also defeats the entire concept of accepting people as individuals. Once the label "frum" is given to you, and you begin to dress and live-by the label (even in a modern sense), you must act in a certain way in public to avoid a chillul hashem, when you're not frum, you have the freedom to do as you choose, on the individual basis. Unfortunately for us, we have many frum people, who are full of crap, and many non-frum people who aren't (instead of it being vice-versa). If we judge by someone's "frumness" we're really overlooking the way they handle their man-to-man relationships and only focusing on their lack of substantial man-to-gd relationship (or what appears to be lack of, that is too private for us to judge).
I personally would trust more non-frum people with election ballots than I would frum ones. Frum people have agenda's for everything and are often backstabbing liars.
So, we have a balance of frum people who act like a$$es in their man -to-man relationships as well as non frum people who act like mentche's in their man-to-man.
The concept of kiruv kills any balance we have in this world. It's there for a reason. We'll always have people go off the derech, just like we'll always have people convert and turn BT, and that is because we have a balance in this world.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The real issue isn't the speaking... the issue here is, why even bother with separate sections. What difference does it make? One lady there passed her baby to her husband. Another lady took her husbands drink from him (he didn't like it, so she finished it). Whats the point? Aside from that, shmorgasboards at the weddings tend to be fully mixed, not even with a table separation, so how is that different from a vort? Why can the shmorg be together, but not the vort?
I've been to multiple weddings with separate seating and dancing and what not. But the woman's section was almost always the section closest to the entrance (which makes sense, the couple has to run through those doors, and its easier for the girls with shtick). If the woman's section is the closest to the doors, that means the men have to pass the women to get to their seat, which totally and completely defeats the entire purpose. The guys see the woman anyway- the dancing and all that... whats the point?
Point of the story? Have mixed events, this way you're consistent and a potential shidduch could come from it.
Friday, May 15, 2009
So the teacher said "girls you do realize that when there was the Bais Hamikdash the Kohanim had to bring animals as a karbon and then eat it."
So then my sister (who is becomming like me, she's so awesome) goes "What if moshiach comes now and the Kohan is a vegan?"
And the teacher started cracking up, and said "there's always the trumah."
My sister sounds like I did in HS. hehe. :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The counselour asked my teacher what her plans are for the year after HS, and my sister said which college she hopes to go to.
So the teacher said "What about seminary?"
My sister says I don't want to go to seminary.
Counselour: The school is going to pressure seminary, and I don't disagree with them.
Sister: Judging by the way I'm in HS I don't think I'd like it.
Counselour: Well you know, when you're going through shidduchim and they see a no for seminary, they'll want to know "why not?".
Sister: My sister didn't go to seminary.
Counselour: Is she married?
Sister: No, but she's going to be soon
Counselour: Oh, Mazel Tov.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Some person had nothing better to do and he came up with a mathematical equation as to why there is a shidduch crisis. He came up with this entire concept of there being more frum girls than guys. He has many followers. They all firmly beleive in this numbers crisis. At one point these crazy nuts even created NASI (North American Shidduch Initiative). NASI is in organization that was formed to give incentive to shadchanim to set up couples in which the guy were either older, but very close in age to the girl, or a tad bit younger then her. If the couple got married, she got paid in accordance to the age difference. "Unfortunately" for these loonies, the fund to pay for this Initiative went dry... so now they have to do things on their own.
These crazies forget one thing, while their world supposedly has more girls other frum worlds have more guys! There is the "out-of-town" world, which is like the entire world grouped into one category, and then there is the "BT" world. BTs tend to have more guys than girls. For whatever reason there are more guys becomming frum than there are girls. But who the heck cares about this stuff anyway...its a crisis. Being picky is good stuff.
Picky I say?
The second reason you may hear as to why frum people have a shidduch crisis is because of pickiness. They claim that people focus too much on unimportant things, and then break up even though there is still a lot of potential for the relationship to work out.
So, I've got a story on pickiness.
Someone tried to set a girl I know up. She always said she wanted a guy who only learned. The guy they wanted to set her up with was in the process of becomming a Rabbi and he planned on being a Rabbi for a living. She rejected the date.
When I heard about that, I was extremely shocked, WTH is the difference between the two, except for the fact that a Rabbi may actually get a job at some time in their first few years of marriage, whereas the Kollel yungerbum will sit on his a$$ and be as useless to society as bicycles are to fish.
While mathematically in certain areas shidduchim may be complicated, and some people are overwhelmingly picky about stupid things, I don't think the overall problem with shidduchim is anything other than stupid indoctrination by the yeshiva/seminaries. Had these dumb schools not messed with people's heads, they'd be more practical and more mature, and therefore more able to have a well adjusted-normal dating experience, hopefully one with a positive outcome as well.