Sunday, August 22, 2010

Something wise

A coworker of mine happens to be a bit of a frummy. The other day we were talking and somehow or other we got into the conversation of shidduchim (nothing shocking). I was telling her random things like how my father is super into shidduchim and how he set up two couples and so forth. I told her that I try to set people up, and so far no successes, and she told me how she tried a couple of shidduchim and gave it up.

She explained that shidduchim is super complicated. She was going on and on about how you have to call everyone to get "information" on the person to make sure they're alright, and she said its just not worth it. Then after a pause she was like "And the questions sometimes are just so stupid."

TO which I said "I know right, I had a shidduch call about my friend, and the guy asked me if she's helpful in the house, as if I live with her and I know what she does when no on is observing!"

SO my coworker goes "Yea, and even so, its such a stupid question, its all a matter of who you marry anyway."

Then she said:

"I had a neighbor who was a complete slob. She had 9 kids and the house was always dirty and messy, and it was disgusting to go in there. Her oldest daughter never helped her. She was lazy and just didn't allow the dirt to bother her and she sat on the porch and sucked her thumb. Yet, she got married. Her sister, the second daughter, the same thing, a complete slob. Totally didn't care. It wasn't until the third daughter was 'in charge' as the oldest that anything ever got cleaned... A few years down the line, I bumped into that oldest daughter that was a slob, and she had many kids, yet, she was the biggest neat freak. She had everything clean and neat. The house was always nice and clean and her kids were taught to help... So you really never know. Its who you live with, and the circumstances. The neatest person can turn into a slob too."

To myself, I thought that this women was so wise. I mean, she was older than me, and age brought about so much wisdom. And I know, that from my own marriage, there are a lot of things I hadn't expected to be doing or not be doing in regards to cooking & cleaning.

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Moshe said...

The older one was not necessarily a slob. She may have wanted to clean up her parents house, but knowing that no one would help her and anything she would clean would turn into a mess within a few hours, why bother.

frumskeptic said...

very good point!