Google results while watching the debates

What is a small business?

And I went and further googled what the small business was.

-If any of you have any economic sense, after reading the two links above, you'd realize that Obama is full of it-

***

Obama and Partial-Birth Abortion-

In 2003, as chairman of the next Senate committee to which BAIPA (Born Alive Infants Protection Act) was sent, Obama prevented it from even getting a hearing. BAIPA, by the way, stated that all live-born babies were guaranteed the same constitutional right to equal protection, whether or not they were wanted.

***

Self-flattery

If you're ever in the need for some flattery, follow this link. It is the greatest :-)

http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html

Can you flush the toilet on shabbos?

Every once in a while when we have irreligious people over for shabbos or yom tov we get asked the question:

Are you allowed to flush the toilet on shabbos/holiday?

Well we usually crack up and go "duh, who'd keep shabbos if you couldn't?"

Or,

"Would anyoone use their own bathrooms if you couldn't? Don't you think everyone would head off to the shul or something?"

Well, I've got news, pretty soon that question will be legit, here's why:

Just What the Economy Needs: A $5,000 toilet

enjoy! :)

Yom Kippur pet-peeves

There are many people who annoy me on a regular basis, but on Yom kippur I try very hard not to be annoyed, but there are always those who tend to irk me, and here is a list of them

1- The people who wear cologne or perfume. Normally I like perfumes and colognes, but on an empty stomach the scents are just annoying, and make me nauseus. I get very dizzy and well, I think every shul should send out letters that say "No Perfume, no leater shoes.." but stress the perfume part.

2- People who drive to shul. Really now, if you're a RH/YK Jew and you show up to an orthodox synagogue, please be respectful and park a block away. Don't park right infront, then take your cell phone out, and just walk in.

3- Parents who don't send their above 5-yr-old children away when they come in towards the end of davening with food. Its very bad. I remember when my sister used to do that, my mom would either go out with her, or tell her to go play with her friends while she had her food.

4- People who finish their shemonei esrei really fast and then sit back, even though you, who are right behind them are still not done. When the people in front of me sit, I lose alot of focus, and I try very hard not to let it bother me, but it does.

5- Parents with very talkative children who just let them sit during davening. I'm all for kids being in shul. I really am, I love kids and when lil babies are sitting in their carraiges next to their moms, I am automatically in a good mood. But if your kid is talking ALOT take him out until he calms down and only then should you allow him back in during davening. I've taken a few kids out for people during speeches and stuff (over the years-mostly on shabbos though), its not a hard thing to do, even if you don't have a teenager or 20-something to take the kids out for you.


Anyway, I hope you all have a happy and healthy new year.

Next Year in Jerusalem!!!!

Revenge of the chicken

My father forwarded this a few years ago and a few people in shul said he was an "antisemite" or a self-hating Jew.

I think they're just insecure in their frumness. Heck, they're just insecure. Anyway, I thought it was funny and since I have a blog now I feel it is the perfect opportunity to share it (tho I mighta shared it before..if I did, sorry).


Have an easy and meaningful fast! :-)

The Color Black

I am writing this post because its "make yourself a better person" season and I found one GOOD way to look at something the frum girls do, that I would normally look at as very negative.

Today a buddy and I went to a shuir at Ohr Naava. Yes...Ohr Naava. I do hate the place, its makes me sick that so many girls from my HS regularly roam the place in hopes of attracting a shadchan...but well...someone asked me to go with them on a mission to do some good, and so I went. Normally I would make fun of the many weird and interesting things I saw and heard, but today, I'll control myself.

One of the things my buddy and I recognized (she happened to be loud about it) was that EVERYONE was wearing black but us and a few other people. So really, we stood out. It was like the sporadic WHITE sheep amongst the black (Go figure I'm NOT the black sheep for once...hehe)

Anyway, anyway...I'm sitting at the shuir, practically oblivious to what is going on since the themes of these tshuva shuirim are always the same (Yom Kippur is an annual check up, you can't just wait 1o years to go for a cleaning) and I'm thinking about the fact that everyone is wearing black. And it occured to me that I can't really criticize them. Black is just an awesome color, and it happens to not be exclusive to frum conformism, its like everyone's. Black is like the universally accepted color for dress.

Black is slimming, as well as sexy. There is hardly ever a "little red dress." Also, these girls really never know when a shadchan will be around, and the wrong outfit can totally kill their chances of finding a decent shidduch if they aren't dressed right. I mean, imagine this girl just spent her day as a morah, then at Touro. During the day she ate a slice of pizza and a salad, and she spilled a bit of her coffee on her top. A black shirt will NOT show the coffee stain, nor will it show the wrinkles almost every shirt gets after being worn the entire day.

Now, I heard that Ohr Naava has secret shadchanim. So imagine these girls, with their busy work and school schedules, now have to run to Ohr Naava to hear shuirim and potentially impress shadchanim, how are they to do so without wearing something that will NOT be destroyed by their hectic schedules?

Well..there ya go...they wear black. So whats wrong with black? Nothing. These girls have a point. Though I would lay off on the black at weddings -they're simchas-stop the gloom!

Stories by the Chassidish Teacher

I had a few chassidish teachers in HS. One of them was more "chassidish" of them all. I don't remember what sect she was from, but she never wore a sheital, and it seemed as if she had no hair under her turban-like hat (if that gives anything away). She was completely and totally frummy for our school, and some of the things she said just made us laugh. I will share a few things she said here.

The first thing she said was on dating. She was telling us all about how her father's mother purposely walked the path she knew girls would take to seminary or to work and ask them for help (like for directions to get somewhere or something). With this, she would evaluate the girl. Say the girl just gives directions and doesn't walk her to her location, she will be less likely to get a sit-in with her son. If the girl doesn't even stop, she won't get a sit-in, and if the girl leads her to the location, even though she'll know she'll be late or just inconvenienced by the detour, she'd definitly get a sit-in and most likely marry the son. And well, her mother passed the test.


The teacher continued on saying that mere 18 year olds are not mature enough to choose their own husbands, which is why the parents have to be involved.


I shot back "If she's not mature enough to choose her own husband, than why is she mature enough to get married that young?"


And the teacher did the typical - She won't know what she needs until she's already been married, but her parents know, so they choose.

****


Another time we were discussing Kolel. Most of the time chassidim are against full-time learning. But I guess our teacher decided to defend them. She was saying "well like, if a young couple in the secular world were to get married while still in college, their parents would continue on paying their college tuition, so in the frum world, the parents pay for kolel"

Boy did the girls in my class attack her. We told her our parents would be like "you're ready to get married? Then you're ready to afford your own tuition or take out a loan"

She was totally unaware of the fact that secular parents, in majority of cases, do NOT pay their child's tuition after marraige, and in many cases even before marraige, the child just takes out a loan.
***

Another time the chassidish teacher was teaching us all about kivud av v'eim. She then mentioned that there was a halacha that a child may not spill their parents blood, or hurt them in anyway, and if they do, the punishment is death.

One day she and her son were working on an art project. The project required the use of needles, and her son accidently stabbed her on her finger and she bled a bit. He started crying apologetically. She said that she had to call the Rabbi for the loophole on not punishing her kid with death!

I forgot what the loophole was, but when a few girls in class were like "the halacha is in regards to PURPOSEFUL pain to the parents, not accidental pain during an art project" the teacher was like "No, the halacha qualifies for accidents as well."

I don't remember the reason the Rebbe gave as to why she didn't have to sentence her kid to death, but it was a rather far-fetched loophole.

What planet did my teacher live on? They say Boro Park is on earth, but I'm not quite sure. People need to use common sense.

If Halacha said anything about an accidental injury towards a parent must resort to death, very very few NORMAL, mentally capable human beings would remain frum.