Flier

Yesterday for Shabbos Shavuos when I got to shul, one of my best friends was there. She found a pile of the fliers (on your left) and she found the most interesting yom tov activity being advertised.

I circled it in red.

Balance

I've been thinking a lot about the uselessness of kiruv lately and I came up with a theory about a life, here goes:

Hashem has made a set balance of good and bad, frum and not frum, light and dark etc, and so, the more kiruv you do, and the more people you "make" frum, it becomes equivalent to the amount of people who go off the derech.

This idea of a balance has come to me after a lot of observance and consideration of random nonsense I've heard at shuirim, so here goes:

1- I've mentioned this time and time again, the OTD rate is ridiculously high. All the Rebbeim are flipping out. I've heard that BT communities have more men (men become frummer at a higher rate than women do), and similarly, the men go OTD more often than woman do (one of the many reasons they kvetch about a "shidduch crisis").

Right there is a direct show of the "necessity" of kiruv- try to root new flowers, and in return you kill the ones already rooted...

2- Many shuirim and many tshuva speeches I attended (like before Rosh Hoshanah and Yom Kippur) I heard that if you want Hashem to bring moshiach, you yourself, and only yourself, have to change your actions to fulfill more mitzvahs, and spread goodness, because one cannot change the actions of others. The idea is if you do good deeds, not only are you bettering yourself, but you're setting an example for others to become good.

If these shuirim are in actuality preaching what hashem wants, then commercial kiruv (oorah, ncsy, l'man achai etc) is a complete waste of time. To create specific programs, exclusive to potential BT's, we are only defeating the purpose of the concept of "lead by example"

3- The purpose of kiruv, is often, to make others return to Judaism. One of the main ROOT reasons for doing this, is to bring moshiach quicker. Often commercial kiruv organizations use manipulative skills to turn people. They begin to twist works of literature to show how corrupted society is, while ignoring all the abuse and whore-like behavior in the bible. They also point to everything in the "outside world" and compare it to the goodness of the religious world. This once again defeats the purpose of "lead by example" that I mentioned in #2, and also defeats the entire concept of accepting people as individuals. Once the label "frum" is given to you, and you begin to dress and live-by the label (even in a modern sense), you must act in a certain way in public to avoid a chillul hashem, when you're not frum, you have the freedom to do as you choose, on the individual basis. Unfortunately for us, we have many frum people, who are full of crap, and many non-frum people who aren't (instead of it being vice-versa). If we judge by someone's "frumness" we're really overlooking the way they handle their man-to-man relationships and only focusing on their lack of substantial man-to-gd relationship (or what appears to be lack of, that is too private for us to judge).

I personally would trust more non-frum people with election ballots than I would frum ones. Frum people have agenda's for everything and are often backstabbing liars.

So, we have a balance of frum people who act like a$$es in their man -to-man relationships as well as non frum people who act like mentche's in their man-to-man.

The concept of kiruv kills any balance we have in this world. It's there for a reason. We'll always have people go off the derech, just like we'll always have people convert and turn BT, and that is because we have a balance in this world.

Mixed events

My fiance and I went to my friends vort and he was bored out of his mind. The vort had separate sections for the men and women. It was divided by a table in the middle. Basically, there was no reason to have the separation at all. Everyone was able to see everything. The only dilemma was with speaking, because since the hall was very narrow, it would've been selfish to speak over the separation table.

The real issue isn't the speaking... the issue here is, why even bother with separate sections. What difference does it make? One lady there passed her baby to her husband. Another lady took her husbands drink from him (he didn't like it, so she finished it). Whats the point? Aside from that, shmorgasboards at the weddings tend to be fully mixed, not even with a table separation, so how is that different from a vort? Why can the shmorg be together, but not the vort?

I've been to multiple weddings with separate seating and dancing and what not. But the woman's section was almost always the section closest to the entrance (which makes sense, the couple has to run through those doors, and its easier for the girls with shtick). If the woman's section is the closest to the doors, that means the men have to pass the women to get to their seat, which totally and completely defeats the entire purpose. The guys see the woman anyway- the dancing and all that... whats the point?

Point of the story? Have mixed events, this way you're consistent and a potential shidduch could come from it.

Vegan

Since my sisters class is done with the AP, they were discussing doing a cows-eye disection. So one girl started going "ewwwww, I can't stand to see animals cut up" (something like that).

So the teacher said "girls you do realize that when there was the Bais Hamikdash the Kohanim had to bring animals as a karbon and then eat it."

So then my sister (who is becomming like me, she's so awesome) goes "What if moshiach comes now and the Kohan is a vegan?"

And the teacher started cracking up, and said "there's always the trumah."

My sister sounds like I did in HS. hehe. :)

Seminary

My sister was summoned into the schools guidance counselours office yesterday (she's in 11th grade, so they need to do post-HS guidance).

The counselour asked my teacher what her plans are for the year after HS, and my sister said which college she hopes to go to.
So the teacher said "What about seminary?"

My sister says I don't want to go to seminary.
Counselour: The school is going to pressure seminary, and I don't disagree with them.
Sister: Judging by the way I'm in HS I don't think I'd like it.
Counselour: Well you know, when you're going through shidduchim and they see a no for seminary, they'll want to know "why not?".
Sister: My sister didn't go to seminary.
Counselour: Is she married?
Sister: No, but she's going to be soon
Counselour: Oh, Mazel Tov.

Picky?

Supposedly we are in the midst of a terrible shidduch crisis. If you're looking for an explaination as to why there is a "crisis" you have to ask multiple people, or else you won't get a good laugh out of it.

Some person had nothing better to do and he came up with a mathematical equation as to why there is a shidduch crisis. He came up with this entire concept of there being more frum girls than guys. He has many followers. They all firmly beleive in this numbers crisis. At one point these crazy nuts even created NASI (North American Shidduch Initiative). NASI is in organization that was formed to give incentive to shadchanim to set up couples in which the guy were either older, but very close in age to the girl, or a tad bit younger then her. If the couple got married, she got paid in accordance to the age difference. "Unfortunately" for these loonies, the fund to pay for this Initiative went dry... so now they have to do things on their own.

These crazies forget one thing, while their world supposedly has more girls other frum worlds have more guys! There is the "out-of-town" world, which is like the entire world grouped into one category, and then there is the "BT" world. BTs tend to have more guys than girls. For whatever reason there are more guys becomming frum than there are girls. But who the heck cares about this stuff anyway...its a crisis. Being picky is good stuff.

Picky I say?

The second reason you may hear as to why frum people have a shidduch crisis is because of pickiness. They claim that people focus too much on unimportant things, and then break up even though there is still a lot of potential for the relationship to work out.

So, I've got a story on pickiness.
Someone tried to set a girl I know up. She always said she wanted a guy who only learned. The guy they wanted to set her up with was in the process of becomming a Rabbi and he planned on being a Rabbi for a living. She rejected the date.

When I heard about that, I was extremely shocked, WTH is the difference between the two, except for the fact that a Rabbi may actually get a job at some time in their first few years of marriage, whereas the Kollel yungerbum will sit on his a$$ and be as useless to society as bicycles are to fish.

While mathematically in certain areas shidduchim may be complicated, and some people are overwhelmingly picky about stupid things, I don't think the overall problem with shidduchim is anything other than stupid indoctrination by the yeshiva/seminaries. Had these dumb schools not messed with people's heads, they'd be more practical and more mature, and therefore more able to have a well adjusted-normal dating experience, hopefully one with a positive outcome as well.

Secular Holidays

Being Mothers Day, I decided I should write a post about it. When I browsed my previous posts I realized that I had already written a mothers day post last year.

So I decided I'll write about a recent things I heard about secular holidays, by the frummy people.

One person I was speaking to was telling me about how much better Jewish holidays are than the secular ones. She was saying that the Jewish holidays are "real" because they are on specific days. They fall out whenever they fall out, and they aren't done on Sundays, or on "convenient" days like the secular ones. She said "We don't make holidays to fall out for 3-day-weekends, we have them fall out when Gd wants them to!"

I have two major issues with this woman's ridiculous argument.

1- Holidays like Easter and Christmas fall out on the days [they believe] Gd wants it too. Then there is Independence Day (4th of July) which isn't necessarily on a convenient day.

2- What is the problem with a man-made holiday falling out on a convenient day? As I pointed out in #1 their religious holidays fall out when they are supposed, and July 4th as well. Holidays like Memorial Day and Labor Day represent many wars, which means celebrating them on a specific day is in-actuality unnecessary.

What do these retarded people have a problem with. Why is everything "secular" necessarily bad?

I mean "OMG, THE MAN-MADE HOLIDAY'S ARE ON DAYS THE PEOPLE ACTUALLY CAN OBSERVE THEM! OMG, THE HORROR, IT'S RESPECTFUL!"

*rollseyes*