The other day my friend and I were discussing if we should go to Miami during our winter break. While taking into consideration the many factors of just picking up and leaving for a week, I came up with the idea of just going away for a shabbos. I told my friend that finding a shabbaton wouldn't be a problem. I also told her that going on a shabbaton will not only be cheaper, but less hectic in terms of travel arrangements and packing. I also discussed the weather; even though Miami will be warmer than Brooklyn (and definitely any near-by location we choose for shabbaton) the weather will by no means be worth traveling for. It's not like it'll be worth going on a beach.
Though my friend considered and recognized the significance of going away only for shabbos, she was still stuck on Florida. She explained that her parents would never allow her to go away to a shabbaton (hotel) environment because they wouldn't trust the guys in such an atmosphere.
This logic completely irritated me. It seems completely irrational too allow your daughter to travel hundreds of miles away from home to an unsupervised (no Rabbi's) hotel. I would definitely understand if we were going to spend the nights at grandparents' condos, but that wasn't going to be the case. We'd be in a hotel either way. One hotel would be full of Rabbi's and the other full of complete and total strangers completely unaware of the concept of shabbaton, never mind that of smicha.
I also find it interesting how these same parents are desperately trying to marry off their daughter. I ask you, logically, does it make any sense for them to allow her to go out alone on a date with a guy, if they do not trust guys on a shabbaton? On a shabbaton she would be with me. The guys would be with their friends. Though we would definitely mingle, the chances of anything occurring would not be so great, considering we'd all at least be slightly frum.
Maybe I'm missing something because I'm a BT and am not FFB. OR maybe their logic is just totally twisted and exclusive to them. However, I do find it terrible how they believe their daughter is mature enough to get married, yet, not mature enough to handle herself away from home.
1 comment:
That logic IS really twisted and I am FFB. I got married fairly young and I always thought it was crazy that my husband and I would go out somewhere and my single friends were not "allowed" to go. We were all the same age, same hashkafa, mostly, it was just less acceptable to their parents (or themselves) since they were single. And by the way, I know a lot of people who went NUTS after they got married, doing things I couldn't believe, but it was all legit since they were already married.
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