Monday, December 24, 2007

Neighborhoods

WARNING: THIS MAY OFFEND SOME OF YOU

yomtova commented: "Re: Flatbush, I guess if it's in Brooklyn and not Boro Park, it must be Flatbush. :)" on one of my last posts. What she doesn't realize, and the majority of the frum people do not realize, is that geography happens to be very important. Being able to tell apart the neighborhoods is crucial to living and surviving Brooklyn.

For example... If you go to Brighton Beach, and tell a bunch of Russians, they live in flatbush, they'd probably call the mafia on you. They'd probably call you a "dumb American" and tell you to go to hell, well actually the exact translation would be "to the devil". Russian's sing songs about Brighton Beach IN Russia. For them its like (l'havdil) Jerusalem for Jews.

Then imagine going off to Manhattan Beach and telling them that THEY live in flatbush! They'll start cursing at you. Manhattan Beach is a rich community, where people work hard. These people are doctors, and lawyers, and they ENCOURAGE their children to go into such professions, in hopes that their children turn into hard -working and proud people, as opposed to in "flatbush" where they encourage taking charity and going on welfare to support kolel-lifestyle's.

SheepsheadBay isn't like flatbush at all. The zoned public schools in the bay area aren't as scary as the ones in flatbush. People in Sheepshead are almost like the one's in Manhattan Beach. Sheepshead is mostly Russian, "modern orthodox" american/BT Russians, and a few token blackhatters. The MO in sheepshead are incredibly anti-kolel. They mock the token black-hatters. The blackhatters are secretly envious of the MO because they don't worry about the color of their tablecloth and they don't worry about marrying off their daughters based on how much money they can offer her/month to marry an unemployed guy with absolutely no life experience or future.
Which reminds me of a joke...
Q)whats the difference between a cell phone and a lakewood boy?
A) the cell phone has a plan!


A VERY important reason not to call everything flatbush, is because most of the time the frum family doesn't live in flatbush. Most frummies are in the midwood area.
Learn your geography people!

19 comments:

ure fave commenter ;-) said...

wait...then where's brooklyn?

sry couldnt resist!

flatbush gal said...

I live in the heart of midwood- someone measured. What does that make me...

frumskeptic said...

o man! Myy sister was taking a train back into Brooklyn, and some girls who almsot never take the train were there. The N train came, they were like "this train probably goes to Passaic."
So fave commentator, Brooklyn must be the stop before Passaic ;)

frumskeptic said...

fg: i was on a rant. but i more/less stereotype flatbush/midwood as the same.

ure fave commenter ;-) said...

isn't it? *scratches head* it's brooklyn...then passaic..then flatbush...right?

Your Muse said...

Hey its your Muse here, just want to let you know i appreciate your article and hope the next is just as good if not more realistic and entertaining.

frumskeptic said...

favecommentator: No. the Q stops in flatbush!! the N does brooklyn and passiac stops.

yomtova said...

LOL, I love the rant! Even though I'm a "Flatbush ffb" I hate the right-winging of Brooklyn.

But isn't it interesting that Marine Park is considered a separate neighborhood even though Sheepshead and other neighborhoods aren't?

Anonymous said...

When you say Flatbush to African/Carribean Americans, it is referring to the Church Ave area:Prospect Park in the north and as far as Ave K on the south. To Orthodox Jews, it is Kennsington,Midwood and the Kings Hiway SY area.

frumskeptic said...

yomtova: it is very interesting. I cannot comprehend the logic one bit!!

anon: "When you say Flatbush to African/Carribean Americans, it is referring to the Church Ave area:Prospect Park in the north and as far as Ave K on the south."

Before I became frum I also thought about it like that. Like "flatbush" was the place you wouldn't dare step foot into alone, without fear of being beat or something. Why frum people are so proud of flatbush, is beyond me!

yomtova said...

We mean Midwood, I think. :)

frumskeptic said...

yt: yes, I do. unfortunatley this lapse only goes to show that I have been frumenized, and I officially am unconsciously one of them... pretty soon I'll accept sheepshead as flatbush 2!! NOOO!!!

Orthoprax said...

Personally I think it's great how Jews from Riverdale refuse to acknowledge that they're actually in the Bronx.

frumskeptic said...

who wants to admit they're from the bronx? I know I wouldn't want to admit it if I were. lol... but then again, Brooklyn's reputation isn't much better.

Yehudi Hilchati said...

I grew up in "Flatbush". When I started going to Brooklyn College many of my AAfrican American classmates insisted that they lived in Flatbush (north of the "junction" - Nostrand & Flatbush Ave) and that I lived in South Flatbush.

I started telling people I lived in Midwood. I still tell people I grew up in "the Midwood area", though technically it was Vanderveer. I think that whole frummie section between Ocean Ave and Nostrand Ave and between Ave I and Kings Highway is technically Vanderveer.

Interesting map I found: http://www.communitywalk.com/nyc_neighborhoods/map/70621#00041kNX

Move the mouse over the different numbered icons to see what neighborhoods they are.

It's funny. I live over 500 miles away now and I still wonder if I grew up in Flatbush, Midwood, or Vanderveer.

Yehudi Hilchati said...

Brooklyn has a few neighborhoods:

Boro Park
Flatbush
Passaic
Teaneck
Kew Gardens Hills
The 5 Towns
Out of Town

mlevin said...

You forgot two more neighborhoods in Brooklyn: Crown Heights and Williamsburg.

G said...

Eh, they may all be diff childeren but still come from the same family.

ProfK said...

There's more to it then just mixing up which part of Brooklyn is which. I asked the students in my classes--a Brooklyn-based school--how many were from out of town. In one class everyone said they were from out of town--out of town consisting of Far Rockaway, parts of Queens and--gasp--New Jersey. One student was from Cleveland. Doesn't seem to matter which Brooklyn neighborhood you live in or what you call that neighborhood, but Brooklynites seem to have decided that Brooklyn is the center of the known universe.