I was linked to an article on Cosmpolitan called 40 Girlie Moves That Make Guys Melt. One of the guys said:
"Like most chicks, there's a big difference between how my girlfriend looks when she's out and dressed up, and when she's in dress-down mode, hanging out at home. At first, she was shy about pulling back her hair and putting on her glasses instead of her contacts. But I love how she looks when she's relaxed. Maybe it's because I'm one of the few people who get to see her that way."
I found what he said absolutely fascinating. Why? Because of the mere fact that B'Y and probably kallah classes as well, teach girls that they should care more about how they look inside the house than they do when they are out. I remember the teacher at my HS who used to teach about shalom bayis and such was very into the fact that woman should always look nice. She told a stories (which I heard from many other teachers) about these ladies who would apply make-up more often while at home than while they were out. These women would greet their husbands every day in make-up and nice clothes (the same ones they wore to work, not sweat pants and a huge t-shirt). And supposedly, these husbands were the ones that were happier in their marraiges.
Honestly, I'm no feminist. I understand that guys are attracted to femininity and all sorts of lady-like behavior. The thing is, is that some of those behaviors are SUPER uncomfortable (ie, wearing heels, itchy sweaters, and fitted clothes - especially -around the house). Not only that, but being dressed up inside or all the time is just super impractical. Wearing make-up is really bad for the skin, constantly straightening/curling hair can damage it, and wearing above-decent clothes around the house can damage them (as if guys don't complain enough as it is that women spend to much time and money on shopping).
I do love to dress up on occassion, and I like the attention I get when I do, but I sure like my baggy pants and over-sized sweatshirt ALOT more. While I cannot wear the pants and sweatshirt out (faded, stained, worn-out) I feel really bad wasting such comfy garments on the garbage, so I'm keeping them.
So ladies, next time you're at a speech and the speaker tells you that it is crucial to constantly "look-good" for your husband, remember what the guy said in Cosmopolitan, go home, put on your sweat-pants and your over-sized sweatshirt. Then go and put your hair up in a pony-tail and take your contacts out. If you're single, make this a habit, if you're married, don't worry about it- your husband probably doesn't pay attention to what you're wearing anyway.