I have nice family friends, friends, relatives, rabbi's, and all other weird random people who try and set me up all the time. I don't mind going on these dates. I like the experience of meeting new people, and I like having stories to tell my friends. I don't date a lot, I'm on the picky side, and I do not know too many people, so its not like my phone rings off the hook with "shidduch suggestions" but I've been on enough dates that I can officially complain about it.
Firstly, I will explain what I mean by picky, so that you can understand where I'm coming from. I am not picky about height, eye color, hair color or dress style. I'm super OK with any guy taller than me (I'm 5'2 so that's really not that hard) who has orange hair and wears purple pants to work every morning because he feels like it. I just want him to have a job- with growth potential, and be the ambitious go-getter type. And I want him to have hobbies, and interests and some sort of fun in his life.
Most of my well meaning "shadchanim" (I guess that's what they are, even though they literally do not involve themselves in anything after the exchange of phone calls), wouldn't know a shidduch if it beat them on the head. I got set up only twice with normal guys. What do I mean by normal? Well, for one, they had interests and hobbies outside of work and surfing the web. They read books, newspapers, were interested in politics, and other random things exclusive to them. But that's two guys! Only two. The other guys had literally no interests outside of their jobs. I guess that would be a good thing, that they like their jobs so much... but its not. Because when you're on a date and you ask the guy "do you have any hobbies", and he says "Well, I come home tired, so I just kind of read magazines and watch TV" it gets really annoying. And please do not think that sports is a hobby- unless you actually play.
Seriously...I care just as much about the Mets/Yankees as you probably do about the shoes I'm wearing. I don't mention my shoes (unless the walk is killing my feet) and I'd prefer you not mention Derek Jeter or Mike Piazza. I'm NOT interested. Mention something else... do you collect comic books? play video games? Nope, guys I've dated these days don't do that.
When I ask "so what do you ?"
I almost always get "Well, I work as X, then I come home tired. I watch TV. I sometimes hang out with my friends."
I had one guy tell me his brother takes him to clubs so that they could meet girls. SERIOUSLY? Why are you telling me about your ventures in meeting other girls?
Anyway...I never get "Oh, I like to read sci-fi books" or "I collect comic books" or "I'm interested in art, sometimes I come home and just paint" or "I keep a journal". Nothing. All boring.
There were two guys I went out with not like that. Who had hobbies. And I broke up with them for various reasons. But when I go out with other guys, I begin to wonder if I did the right thing in breaking up with them. Then I drive myself nuts...lately I've been taking it out on blogging.