Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Shidduchim Gone Nuts

The following are crazy shidduch stories:

1) I was at shuir earlier today and a lady mentioned that her daughter is in shidduchim. The daughter just graduated college with a degree in Business Administration. The shadchanim have been asking her for years why she chose such a non-shidduch friendly major. Some went as far as to suggest she go back to college and become a speech or occupational therapist.

I heard the next two from my best friends mom who was AT the shidduch meeting:

2) Friend's mom was at a shidduchim meeting. The meeting was for mothers to present their sons (they alternate son/daughter days). One mother was presenting, she said her son was 6'1 (not sure if that exact height, but he was tall), and he only wanted a girl shorter than 5'. He would MAYBE consider a girl that was exactly 5', but that's only if she's from a good family, pretty, rich etc. Why only a "shorty" (no offense)? Because he doesn't want his kids to be giants. His mom wasn't even embarrassed to present this!!

3) Another lady at this same meeting was presenting her son. She said "My son wants a girl who is short, with blond hair, and green eyes." Another lady screamed out "That's my daughter!"


-What is this world coming to?-

18 comments:

FrummeYenta said...

Oy gevald!

frumpunk said...

I'll never understand how mother, being female themselves, aren't disgusted at the sexism of their sons. Or maybe not even sexism, but the shallowness? How do they encourage that?
I'm referring to the last one. To be so specific on how she looks, he has to have a model or actress he likes in mind. Blond hair and green eyes combination is very rare though, especially among Jews. I wonder how many choices this guy will have.

frumskeptic said...

Frum punk:

"I wonder how many choices this guy will have."

Fortunately (?) for him that shidduch meeting found him one girl. Maybe she'll be as dumb as her mom and agree to go out with him.

Its so sad.

frumpunk said...

As for the 6'1 guy, besides the fact he obviously has severe emotional trauma about his height, someone should tell him it's not enough to ensure he'll have short kids by marrying a short girl. He has to go back to at least each grandparent and get an idea of average height. She may be short, but if she carries genes that can let her have children over 6' then the kids certainly will be. They already have 50% certainty from the father, if the mother carries even a 20% recessive chance gene for kids over 6' those kids now have a 70% chance at being as tall as their dad.

Basically, if you're marrying for genes, yichus really does matter. I don't look a thing like my oldest sister, but if someone married my sister for a certain physical trait she has, lets say her blue eyes, unless he also has blue eyes, their kids will have at least a 25% chance of having my green eyes, and thats not taking into account his own genes.

The Candy Man said...

hehe. Always good to remember how the other half lives.

Tall Guy said...

"Why only a "shorty" (no offense)? Because he doesn't want his kids to be giants. His mom wasn't even embarrassed to present this!!"

Not only is he shallow (and probably emotionally scarred), he's also ignorant:
Regression toward the mean

Yehudi Hilchati said...

Translation, please, for those of us who aren't familiar with the current frummie lingo of NY - when you say that the woman's daughter is "in shidduchim" do you mean that the daughter is a matchmaker or that she's looking for a shidduch for herself?

Yehudi Hilchati said...

This is the very first I've ever heard of "shudduchim meetings". Bizarre!

abandoning eden said...

My thoughts are 1) do they have any personality requirements as well, or is it all about fulfilling some obscure look and 2) lets talk to them again in 3 years when they are single and have been out with every blond haired green eyed jew in the area, and see what they do. Do they start dating out of area? Or do they change their ridiculous requirements?

I'm not saying that looks aren't important, and I would never encourage someone to date someone else that they had absolutely no physical attraction to. But these kids are just so clueless about dating if they think things like eye color are important. And that tall guy seems to be verging on social darwinism there!

Jessica said...

lol. Love number two... reminds me of the reason I tell people I wanted a tall guy. "So I can have ginormous children."

frumskeptic said...

YH: "in shidduchim" means she's dating

frumskeptic said...

YH: I also haven't heard about shidduch meetings. Was like 2 yrs ago that I heard about these things.

A few weeks ago I learned that every few years my former HS puts together a booklet of alumnai who are still not married, so that people can "remember" and think of them.

2 bad the pictures are in black and white though, cuz then you can't tell her hair/eye color. So sucky for the boys. lol

frum single female said...

these shidduch meetings have been around for years. i never actually attended one ,but i know people who presented me at some.
as for the tall guy who wants a short girl the only strange part is his reasoning, not the fact that he wants a short girl. there is definitly something about the very short girl very tall guy attraction. my grandmother who was 4ft 10 and married my grandfather who was a ft taller than her used to say this. sometimes short men have napolean complexes.

Hadassah said...

just when you think you have heard it all! whatever happened to marrying someone you share the same values with? maybe this is why there is a supposed shidduch crisis - because everyone is so hung up on looks and forget about the interior being.

hadassahsabo.com

Mikeinmidwood said...

Wait a minute, these are true stories. just making sure.
And I agree with Hadassah on why there is the "crisis"

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

I think in the next "shidduch meeting" us guys should just be sitting down, and we should just auction off the girls.

frustrated frummie said...

dearest frum skeptic....
yes i do agree that these kind of shidduch meetings are ridiculous, just as well as i find that the reasoning for the tall and shorty guy is as well.
i just wanted to mention that my former best friend from hs's mom goes to these meetings every moment she gets, well on the girls night she presents all the girls she knows and has "information" on including her own daughter, well she was going to one earlier this week, and my mother made a mention that she should please remember my sis (who is 22), anyway i was sitting right there on the couch when my mom said this, so when she hung up i said something along the lines of thanks for remembering me..and my mom said that its not that she forgot about me, but rather that this lady finds me as competition to her daughter, since we are the same age, and graduated the same year and e/t.
i mean isn't it supposedly written who you are supposed to marry, before you are born? and if so then why are so many people afraid that others will take away the person they are supposed to marry? and why is it that they will not pursue a shidduch for someone who is the same age or similar to their own daughter/son????

Jersey said...

6' 1" isn't even that tall. I know you were only giving an estimate, but how tall could he possibly have been to worry about his kids being "giants," even if his wife is a towering 5' 3".

On the bright side, he and his wife can dress up on Purim as an exclamation point.

And shidduch-friendly majors... yeesh.