Sunday, November 23, 2008

Present for grandma

I was just telling someone these stories the other day, so I figured I'd type them up and share them with my readers.

My grandma (on my fathers side) is absolutely awesome. I love her dearly, but she can definitely be quite annoying. She is constantly annoyed with my sister and me for talking too quickly, not wearing makeup, and generally talking too much. She also hates that we're very much "know-it-alls". She hates that we are like that, and she wants nothing more than to turn us into typical girlies who only care about hair, make up, and brand name clothes.

A few years ago, my sister and I are in the car with my grandma and our male cousin. My cousin was the driver, grandma was in the passenger seat, and sis and I in the back. My sister and I were talking to our cousin. Apparently we were talking VERY quickly (something we don't even notice). My grandma got ticked, and she began to do her typical comparison of us vs. some girl in her building (my cousin's 2nd cousin). And she says "You know, you talk so fast, like blah blah blah blah, its just not lady like. Daniella (the girl in building) talks so nice and slowly, and softly, and that is because she thinks before she speaks."

So my sister and I, at the exact same time were like "That's cuz we think quicker"

Oh boy ... my cousin was cracking up behind the wheel, and my grandma (already used to our quick comebacks) couldn't say anything, so she just smiled and shook her head and was like "Oh you guys and your mouth"


My grandma has this crazy obsession with fresh air. She hates the city, and thinks that its the worst thing in the world that we live in such a polluted environment. Every year my family used to go upstate to the Adirondack Mountains, and vacationed for a few weeks each summer. One year being the typical teenager, I would sleep-in crazy hours. I would wake up at about 11-12 (only if someone woke me). So before going upstate, my grandma called me up and started lecturing me about how I should wake up early, and stay outside in the fresh air. She kept telling me that my parents aren't paying for the lake, or the vacation, or the cabin (with those cabins, I believed that), but were paying solely for the fresh air. She told me if I stay in, and sleep crazy hours, I would be wasting their money. And she really got under my skin with that, she kept calling like everyday before we left to tell me about how I shouldn't sleep in.

Finally we go upstate, and of course we have to go and get grandma a present for when we come back home. We were thinking about what to get her, and then (I forgot who thought about it) we decided that we should bring her air.

So the last day we were upstate as we were packing the car for the drive back home, we took two of the kitchen garbage bags, and filled them with air from the outside. When we were heading close to home, we called grandma and were like "we're about an hour away, we've got something for you"

As we got even closer, we called her to come down so that we can just give the present and go.

Finally we arrive, she opens the door to the car, we exchange hugs and kisses...

We hand her the huge bags, and she goes "what is this?"

we: WE brought you fresh-upstate air! You can release it, and breath it in your apartment.

grandma- WHAT? This is what you got me? I thought you got me something real!

we: Oh, come on, just take the bags!

grandma- Are you kidding, what will I tell people? My son's family goes upstate and they bring back air for their grandma? I'd rather not be seen with bags.

That was when we started cracking up. :)

Later on I told my cousin about it, and he was rolling on the floor from laughter. He was like "brilliant". :-)

We did buy her something that was packed, like a mug or a magnet. But the air- priceless. :)

And puh-leeze, she loved it. :) She has a nice sense of humor.


Anonymous said...

can you mention how she doesnt let you share her food.
): ynona .vaf

frumskeptic said...

hehe. lol. she just loves us a lot and doesn't want us to feed others the food she made us out of love :)

Moshe said...


frumskeptic said...

moshe- I'd buy that for grandma, but i think i'd be pushing it. lol. :)

Moshe said...

For her birthday. I double dare you. ;-)

word verification: inishi
Ancient in Japanese

mlevin said...

Moshe - did you see cans of Oddessa air. That's right, they are actually selling cans filled with air filled in Oddessa.

Moshe said...

For real?! Where?!

Would make a great gag gift for purim...unless they're like $10+.

word verification: chessiti
the quality or state of being chess

mlevin said...

No idea where you can get it.These Oddessiti brought it to shul. It was a tuna sized can and they bought it for $3.00 if I remember correctly. Due to shul politics, I can't ask them now. Sorry. But politics is more important than a can of air.

Moshe said...


Anonymous said...

cute story! LOL hope you kept the bag closed!

may sound wierd but when i was in nyc last year i felt i never breathed better..........

The Babysitter said...

lol, so typical of grandmothers to do comparison stuff.

I sometimes wonder myself if I'm talking to fast, I feel like I have to get everything out before I forgot and I don't want to loose my train of thought. Then after I say what I have to say I wonder if I said too much and that they didn't comprehend it all. So then I would stop talking and see what they have to say. Then based on their response I would know if they were listening or not.

That was so creative to bring her the bags of air! and it truly is priceless, that's a memorable sentimental present.