Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Kids say the darnest things!

When I was 4 and my sister was a baby, we had a live-in babysitter. The lady was from Kiev, Ukraine. She used to live next door to my father when he was growing up over there. My father used to be best friends with her son, and he was pretty close to the lady as well. When my mom was expecting my sister, my parents decided to hire that lady to be my sister's babysitter. So they flew her in.

The lady was not very bright. And according to my parents, she used to annoy me all the time (imagine that, at 4 I was already ticked by human stupidity). Basically my parents said she and I didn't get along. One day, she wanted me to do something that I really didn't want to do. She probably wanted me to clean up a mess I made or something, so we got into a fight, and I screamed:

"I'm going to call Mama and Papa and tell them to put you on a plane and send you back to the Ukraine!!"

apparently thats one story that all the relatives and coworkers heard.

Over Simchas Torah my favorite little young boy in the whole wide world, who was 4 at the time, got into a fight with some other little kids at shul. He got annoyed and said:

"I'm going to kill you and then sell you on ebay"

I told that story to all my friends and family :). What a mushy kid! (yes his parents punished him!)

When I was babysitting that kid, he manipulated me out of a cookie. I used to pick him up from his carpool, and then take him up to his apartment, where I would feed him and play with him. One day (happened to be the last day I babysat), he had A LOT of cookies in his apartment. Many different varieties. So he asked me for a cookie. I gave him one, and then he begged me for another kind as well. So I told him he could only have half of the one I gave him if he wanted both types. So he agreed. He finished the half-cookie, then he went and ate the other cookie (which was small- so he had it whole).

He started begging me for more cookies. And ofcourse I said no. I told him, after his salad, he can have more. He didn't like that, and so he kept on begging. Finally, he got fed up, he went into the tin, and took out one of the cookie packages- two came in a pack. He handed me the package, and said "Here, you have it"

I was like "No, I don't want, I don't like this kind of cookie"

So he was like "I'm sharing, you have to have, I'm being a good boy"

Since he had a good point, and I had laryngitis, I was in no mood to fight, so I opened the cookies, and was about to take one, when he said

"Can you share with me?"

and he said that with this adorable face, with his cute big blue eyes staring at me, drooping from his fake saddness.

And I couldn't resist so I shared the cookie.

Another story...

My moms best freind was on a plane. Her baby daughter was on her lap, and her 4-year-old daughter was sitting next to her. Next to them sat a guy, who the baby happened to be staring at. The guy on the plane started talking to the baby "Wow, what are you looking at cutie?" And he started playing with her. The four-year-old was like

"Maybe shes looking at you wondering why you so fat?!"

And her mom was so embarrassed. Apologized like 100 times. Then when we heard the story, the mother was like "Yes, so now we taught her, that she shouldn't call people fat, but plump" So we started laughing, imagining how little of a difference it would have made had she said:

"Maybe she's looking at you wondering why you so plump"

Anyway, I was in a good mood, and I thought these stories were adorable...I LOVE kids. :)


Moshe said...

Guy in shul told me this story. His wife was in the elevator with their daughter and a black guy walks in. The girl points at the man and says "kaka" doodoo in Russian.

frumskeptic said...

thats really funnY!

so embarrassing! lol.
And the guy mighta understood it too. lol.

The Babysitter said...

ahh I love kids too!
and kids to say the craziest things sometimes. If the child says the wrong thing, they usually don't understand why its wrong, and then the mother gets all flustered and tries to explain.
But its funny what you chose to say cause many people nowadays say such a thing, to send the foreigners back to their country. So you must of heard it when you were younger.
The e-bay one is funny. Actually in class my prof mentioned her graduation from NYU for her PHD is gonna be in the Yankee stadium, which is gonna be there for just a short time. So then one guy said make sure not to use the bathrooms there. Then another said they can probably sell the stalls on e-bay. Then my prof said that's disgusting. So then the guy said that there are people who actually buy such things.
Then there are those kids that are very careful with the way they speak. Yesterday when I was doing homework with the kids I babysit. One kid shows me her notebook, where every day when they have homework a page gets glued on to the notebook page, so she was showing me how its almost all done, that there's few pages left. So I said "wow, the notebook is getting fat" So then she said, we're not allowed to say "fat".

Moshe said...

Pleasantly plump?

frustrated frummie said...

at the time of this story there was only my parents and my older sister and mself...anyway, my parents and my grandparents as well as one of my uncles decided to take us to manhattan, so we all got on the train and happened to be the only ones on that car, well we got to around the village and all of a sudden this really really goth guy came into the car from the other one(via the connecting doors) anyway he had a green mohawk as well as a nose ring and was dressed in total black with chains well he walked from one end of the car to the other while my sister stared wide eyed (she was around 3) anyway just as he was about to leave the car, my sister screams out WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?! needless to say my parents weren't too pleased

frumskeptic said...


chanief said...

LOL! Those are cute stories. Here's one for you - we've never made an issue of race in our home. Never really talked about it because we view people as people regardless of the color of their skin. So one day, I'm sitting with my then three year old daughter in the pediatrician's waiting room. Across from us is a large black man with his daughter. Mine tugs at my sleeve and whispers (quite loudly, she was 3, trust me, the whole waiting room could hear her whisper.) "Mommy, look at that man." Right away my mind starts racing, I just knew she was going to say something that would embarrass the heck out of me and I noticed that the man was listening in. "Mommy, he's funny." I had to ask "Why is he funny?" but I was completely dreading the answer. And the answer was.......

"He's BALD!"

Whew! Indeed he was. He just smiled at her. How could he not?

Ya just never know with little ones! ;o)

frumskeptic said...

chanief: That is really cute. So lucky u raised her right that she didn't say anything embarrasing. :)