My super-frummy friend, my sister, my like a sister friend (long story) and my mom were having a very interesting discussion, mostly for amusement purposes, on whether or not frum people today are messed up. We went into a whole long discussion on how if we're supposed to do everything based on minhaggim then we shouldn't be washing our strawberries with soap and water (grandma's had their soap made out of lard, not exactly the "kosher" substitute for bugs, now is it?), and checking lettuce through x-ray lights, and the fact that I'm pretty sure most of my great-grandparents did not wear hats and such. I also said that if we really wanted to be frummie based on minhaggim we should all be dressed in robes and turbans.
Somehow from that conversation we ended up discussing Moshe and Rambam and Sephardi Jews, and whether or not it makes sense when Sephardim wear black hats (I for one think its annoying, it makes me lose all respect for them, in Europe goyim wore hats, in Morocco and other such sephardi oriented countries they did not, so why should they wear them here?). So, a rebbetzin (not of the shul B"H), overheard part of the convo and commented to my mom "wow, girls having such deep conversations, girls are supposed to talk about hair, nails and boys"
Firstly, I don't think our conversation was that deep, considering most of it was done for amusement purposes; and secondly, WTF?
Really now, I pride myself on the fact that I don't only talk about hair, nails and boys. And my freind and sister do as well. My mom taught us to think. My sister-like -friend also prides herself on the fact that she thinks.
Before I get to the point of this blog, I will admit that yes we are girls, and we tend to discuss hair, nails and boys -and shopping-, but only cause we are girls, and somehow we have a license to do so.
So anyway, this rebbetzin is one of those women who cares more about shopping, her clothes, her nails and her sheitle more than she cares about her own kids. Really now, she is ok with the fact her kid cannot speak any language but Spanish (the language the nanny speaks)! So, for her to say something like that somehow implied she was more feminine than us, or more normal, I'm not really sure what she was implying but the fact that we shouldn't be having deep conversations, because thats not girly.
So my sister-like-friend (who despises her) was like "yes, that's because women who only think about hair, nails and boys are the ones that really are insecure about themselves so they have to focus on such stuff"
So the reb (not even realizing she was being personally attacked), was like "but I know so many women who only talk about that and they're really happy"
SO my sister-like-friend continued: "they're not happy, they're ignorant. They don't know why they're happy, they're told they're happy. Normal smart girls do not talk about hair and nails, they aren't that ignorant, they have more important things going on in their lives."
The reb was so dissed. I was trying so hard not to laugh. When we told my father the story, he was like "you shoulda said that women like that marry ignorant men as well" ('cause her husband is as much a reliable rabbi as I'm a 6'2 black man). hehe
was some fun stuff. :)
But anyway, this is the second time I was told that I should be talking about shallow things. My super frummy friend and I were infact together the first time I was told as well. I have no patience. I like to shop, and I like new clothes, and I like looking good. But there's only so much to talk about.
Like, yea, "the new skirt is brown and the new top is tan...OMG! it was on sale too!!!!"
Umm...am I the only female outside of my immediate group of friends that doesn't see this as an adequate convo?