The lady completely agreed with me, and told me the following story, which was just mind-boggling, but unfortunately super believable.
She used to live in Boro Park and one day she had a knock on her door, and it was a beggar. It was a frummy young guy, all dressed in his penguin-self, collecting money for his wedding.
My friend was not dressed tzniously (as she was conservative and not frum), but was dressed in a robe that was sleeveless.
The guy, asked for money, and then started explaining how my friend should not be dressed the way she was, and that she needed sleeves! Then he again, asked for money.
My friend was rightfully pissed off, and she said to him "I work hard, and I pay for things, on my own. if YOU are getting married, *you* should have a job and work too, I will not give you any money, because you're younger and able-bodied and perfectly capable of getting a job. If you can't pay for your wedding, you shouldn't be getting married. and if you're poor, you just shouldn't be having a wedding, only a chupah."
The guy was annoyed and left.
Chutzpah! Talking about tznius, being a lazy leech, while expecting others to pick up the tab!
10 comments:
So how do you feel about college students getting married?
WONDERING- Its terrible.
Its better than kollel in just one way- they're learning for a future, not just to learn...
but if you've got no money, YOU SHOULDN'T BE GETTING MARRIED!
This is a deeper question than the way you put it.. Some people are in kollel and are really devoted to Torah. Most are in it because their sexual and other physical needs are taken care of. Also they get work towards getting the one human need that is above all physical needs--Power. They get to be rabbis and tell gullible Jews how to live their lives. But the presence of evil people in kollel does not mean there are no sincere people there. I was once in the Mir yeshiva and there was a real spirit of Torah there. And I think most of the people I went there with had real deep Fear of God. So even though the klipot (“Torah scholar demons”—see lekutai moharan Vol 1 chapter 12) have taken over most yeshivot -that does not mean there is no one left that is from the good side.
no one- I'm sure there are good kollel people out there, but that isn't a reason for them to LEARN FULL TIME WITHOUT PAY!
They should be learning to get smicha, and then become rabbi's.
No reason why they should be burdening society with no aim insight on how to become a more self-sufficient.
I'm just amazed that the guy was telling her how to dress while asking for money. At least have enough brains to keep your mouth shut...
moshe- I know right! :-)
I don't think it's really chutzpay. From his viewpoint he was doing her a favor by telling her how to dress I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people in his kollel would say he did the right thing.
IC, still gotta have enough brain to at least do it after he gets the money. And I'm sure he would get seriously pissed off if she told him that his shirt had a stain or something.
"Hi, I'm getting married and consider working to be a mark of evil. Can I have some money for my wedding you Godless infidel who will burn in hell for her sins? No offense intended."
IC- it screams of chutzpah.
even if that was what he was taught, its just chutzpah that the community is so messed up.
the community is just full of chutzpah then!
The sincere people are the ones learning in kollel. The ones using the torah for power and importance are those that become rabbis. I would say it is only yeshivot that should be supported and to throw out all frum rabbis that have not spent at least ten years learning gemra rashi tosphot in a real yeshiva. - Not the fake places where they talk all day. Those who know know exactly to what so called yeshivot I am referring to.
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