About two years ago I'm on the phone with my naive friend. She is very smart and super awesome, but she takes the concept of l'dam l'chaf zchus a bit to literally. She hardly ever sees faults in the frum community even if they're staring her right in the face. She needs them to slap her.
During this conversation I was telling her all about people I've spoken to (and I have a very interesting well-rounded group of acquaintances). I was also telling her about how the community is basically divided in many groups of people who all have fun choosing labels for themselves. And then I told her the only labels people should use are the Sephardi/Ashkanazie type and BT/FFB. Cuz those are the only ones that are actually accurate. Then the conversation somehow turned to how BT are considered a lower class of being when it comes to shidduchim.
She did not believe me. She went on and on about how she and her sister had many friends in HS who were FFB and who had no problems with their being BT. She continued on about how the ones discriminated against are probably the type that aren't fully frum yet, and that would make sense, so there should be no criticism about it.
I told her "Sweety, you're wrong!" and she went and told me how Mrs. F married a BT (and I reminded her of Mrs. F's fathers BT status), and well...the convo must have ended there because I don't remember the rest.
For about a year after that she kept trying to convince me that there's no "lower class" relation to BT, they just like to marry each other because of the culture clash, especially like with the Europeans who are newly frum. What would they have in common with always frum Americans? It was an ongoing discussion with us, then we just stopped cuz it got into the "ok then, agree to disagree mode"
Then about 8 months ago (and I promise you this is how I was told the story) a random mom somewhere (I can specify Brooklyn) was looking through the HS yearbook that naive friend was in. The mom saw my friend's picture, decided she liked the way she looked, and then decided that her son should meet her.
What happens when a mom finds a picture of a girl in a yearbook? She calls her up.
My friend gets a phone call from this woman saying "Hello I am so and so, I saw your picture in HS yearbook, and I would like more information, references and so on, so that I can set you up with my son."
My friend says "Call Mrs. H, she is my close [married] friend and is a shadchan so she will tell you everything you will need to know."
A few days later naive friend gets a phone call from Mrs. H. and she said the following:
I received a phone call from so and so about a shidduch for you with her son. She was asking me a lot of questions which I answered, and then she asked me about your family and background. So when I mentioned you were a BT she said right away "No, I don't think that is what I'm looking for." She thanked me for my time and hung up. I personally think it is her loss. You are a great person and should not take this personally.
About a day later I received a phone call from naive friend and she says "remember that convo we were having on BT being somehow being a lower class?"
And I say "yea" and so she told me the story. And then tells me "You were so right."
SO I say "well you know, his loss. Poor guy it wasn't even his fault he couldn't date you, it was his dumb mom. "
She said "yea. oh well. "
I generally like being right in an argument, but with this, I really kinda wish I was wrong.