Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Only in the Frum community...

1- Only in the frum community can you consider a guy a bum because he actually works

2- Only in the frum community can you consider someone an "older" single at the age of 22.

3- Only in the frum community do you solve a shidduch crisis by further separating the guys and girls.

4- Only in the frum community do you have parents going into heavy debt to afford their sons not working.

5- Only in the frum community do parents discourage their sons from working

6- Ony in the frum community is a girl considered a slut/whore for sleeping with her boyfriend of a year, but not a slut/whore if she sleeps with him after only knowing him for a few days just because they got married.

Oy...the frum community...

22 comments:

Child Ish Behavior said...

See but it's fun being a bum and an older single. And do you really think that all the ladies would like to drink all that beer that the guys are guzzling? And seriously why should parents get to retire, have you ever read The giving tree?

Unfortunately for my lazy self my parents are just the opposite and have some sense.

As for the last thing, its all about the sanctity of marriage. And really who do you know that gets married after only a few days? I know life is short but really.

frumskeptic said...

well, the divorce rate is rising in frummyville, so they aren't getting to know each other for more than just a few days, now are they?

Moshe said...

You know, I think I figured out something. The reason frummies are supposed to get married so early is because then they can support their children for much longer. Though as usual they managed to forget a few important things, like the fact that they can't really support their kids because they don't have jobs and don't know how to do anything.

G6 said...

You had me until #6..... sorry...

DYS said...

FS,

You hit it right on the nose! Very sharp and true observations.

Child ish,

And really who do you know that gets married after only a few days? I know life is short but really.

They don't get married after only a few days, but they do get engaged after just 2-3 dates. And engagement is so short, that they only get to see each other maybe another 6 or 7 times before marriage.

Jay said...

If your'e do unhappy & disgusted why don' you just gradually adapt a different lifestyle-like I did. It didn't hurt

Moshe said...

I don't think becoming a gay is the answer. ;-)

Dave said...

7. Epicure is a mortal insult.

frumskeptic said...

Jay, running away from one community isn't going to solve anything. Its just going to force me to adapt to different problems.

Plus its not like I don't beleive in Gd, I don't beleive in crazy frummies, thats all.

G6- putting aside the fact that pre-marital sex is a sin, why is a girl who sleeps with a guy while hardly knowing him somehow not slutty, while a girl who really knows a guy well slutty?

Theres no commonsense there. To say that premarital sex is bad goes under the assumption that everyone is religious and beleives in the bible the same way. When adapting the word "slut" it makes no sense why you choose one girl over the other. Especially with the rising divorce rate in the frum community- the married girls commitment is probably just as binding as the girl who dated the guy for one-year.

The Babysitter said...

FrumSkeptic: that was funny, although I didn't get number 3. But the rest were great. My favorite is the first one.

About number 6, it is a bit harsh, we once had this discussion already so I won't go over it again.

frumskeptic said...

We went over it?

Really?

The Babysitter said...

FrumSkeptic: yea, we did, in some old posts throughout. Don't remember exactly which ones, but I remember you bringing it up. Here's one: Complimenting Dates Not sure which other ones.

But if you want to discuss it again, I'd be more than happy to play the devils advocate.

frumskeptic said...

O. lol. k. So we discussed it in different contexts. I thought that maybe I wrote I post or s/t I forgot about.

If you don't want to, its alright. :-)

The Babysitter said...

FrumSkeptic: o, in that case your right, I don't think you wrote a post about it.

lol, well I haven't really formed an opinion yet, or at least not a strong one, so I'll skip it.

frum single female said...

this post really made me laugh! for the truth!

Anonymous said...

the "philosophical" issue with premarital sex is not about how well they know each other, but the context of which the sex takes place. i think (from my limited understanding) that sex is supposed to be something one only experiences with their spouse and the problem with premarital sex is that sex has taken place outside that framework, potentially with more than one person throughout ones lifetime. of course in cases of multiple marriages, or polygamy this doesn't always apply to all involved even within the framework of jewish law. anyhow thats how i see it, for what its worth.

-rembrandt

frumskeptic said...

rembrandt: I'm against premarital sex, but that is mostly because I am religios and I beleive in the institution of marraige.

If one does not beleive in religious tradition of marraige, there is no reason why they should wait till marraige, nevermind judged by religious people for not waiting.

the terms slut, whore, promiscuos refer to girls who are cheap and easy. If a girl (who is not religious) waited to really get to know a guy and get into a relationship with him before she slept with him, she should not be labeled a slut. If she is, there is something very very wrong.

sporadicintelligence said...

Are you refering to something specifically done for number 3?
Because I think the separation is status quo. No significant change...I don't agree with it, but I can't see the general population handling it otherwise.

frumskeptic said...

sporadicintelligence: According to older frum people, and books I've read the extent of the separation is fairly recent. They've had many mixers, the not-so-frum kind had dances, whereas the other kind atleast had coed shuirim and events. Whereas now, they have Ohr Naava.

The Babysitter said...

FrumSkeptic: An answer popped up in my head last night, about the time difference stuff.

So you say, how can they really know eachother after such a short time, it seems rediculous to you.

Well here's an answer. That its not the stuff leading up to it that counts, its what you do once your there.

Just like there's 2 ways to be a Jew, there are those that are born that way, and those that convert. But yet its not important how they got there, how much time they took till they became a Jew. What is important, is what they do once they are a Jew, if they do things the right way.

Same with marriage, doesn't matter how long they date. Once their married, if they are committed and want to make the marriage work, and everything else, then it will all be good.

frumskeptic said...

Babysitter, you need a reason to agree to make such a commitment to begin with.

Otherwise they really should just ban dating.

I wouldn't want to commit to anyone I'm not comfortable with.

The Babysitter said...

FrumSkeptic: Right, I'm sure they have a reason to commit to begin with. For some it may not take a long time to figure out what the reason is.